By Lex February 03, 2016 @ 1:13 PM
Gigi Hadid is the Hadid sister who doesn’t have celebrity lyme disease. She’s carrying zika. Maybe ebola. Something topical that’s absolutely not herpes from the not-gay one in One Direction. Her underboobs look exactly like the underboobs of her sister two days ago. You wouldn’t even know which one of them is dying. Which one is it again? There was never going to be enough to send both girls to rehab. This just makes it easier.
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
By Lex December 08, 2015 @ 12:13 PM
Emily Ratajkowsi is either the world’s most attractive chick not raised in the Ural Mountains, or she’s a duck billed platypus monkey face. Few people are willing to go halfway on her description. It’s Obama vs. Trump on the Muslim issue. Either they’re misunderstood book club members with amazing vegan cookies or they’re demonic savages programmed to kill on the keyword Akbar. I’d just focus on her tits and see if we can’t find a middle ground of understand. That goes for Muslims too. It’s easy to ban Middle Eastern immigration. Tougher when they’re hot Syrian chicks with big racks who can English out the word ‘party’. We’re all going to die someday. There’s no shame in exploding.
Photo Credit: Love Magazine
By Michael November 05, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Remember back when Emily Ratajkowski said she was quitting modeling to pursue being a serious actress? I don’t either.
Still, we get to look at her tits some more. (Egotastic All-Stars)
My father warned me about girls like Bryana Holly in black lingerie. (Last Men On Earth)
Blake Shelton is porking Gwen Stefani, in case you care. (TMZ)
I bet Alexis Ren can do magnificent things with that tongue. (Drunken Stepfather)
Morgan Shelly bikinis it up. (Hollywood Tuna)
Bras are for suckers. (The Chive)
Nicole Scherzinger wears a leather bra and pants and it’s awesome. (Popoholic)
By Michael September 11, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Emily Ratajkowski is so full of shit I can smell her from here. She wants to be more than a pair of tits and slams the Blurred Lines video that made her famous yet she’s still using her tits to get work. You can’t have it both ways, sweetheart.
See her use her tits to sell her brand. (Drunken Stepfather)
Check out a naked Christy Williams in the Mr. Skin minute. (Egotastic All-Stars)
Nic Cage’s son Weston is a goth freakshow. (TMZ)
Vain bitches looking hot in the mirror. (The Chive)
This is Monica Sims and these are her tits. (Hollywood Tuna)
Katy Perry in some seriously tight workout clothes. (Popoholic)
Ashley Benson wears a sheer top and it’s awesome. (Last Men On Earth)
By Lex September 04, 2015 @ 9:20 AM
As is the natural progression of topless models to actress, Emily Ratajkowski is now insisting that the Blurred Lines video that made her famous is the ‘bane of her existence’.
When anyone comes up to me about ‘Blurred Lines,’ I’m like, are we seriously talking about a video from three years ago?
Right. Let’s talk about your clothed role in We Are Your Friends which set the mark for third worst box office opening ever for a major studio release.
Kate Upton no longer wants to be a sex symbol. The teen girl from Modern Family had her breasts shrunk because she was sick of all the staring. These women are trying to edit their origin stories after their first million in the bank. I don’t mind rappers disowning their hood past. The hood sucks. But enormous tits are a blessing from Jehovah. Much like heterosexual marriage and Tom Brady being unsuspended. Embrace your history. Flash your tits, And shut the fuck up. You can choose the order. You are in control.
By Lex August 21, 2015 @ 9:06 AM
Women with big milky breasts can do no wrong. I want to punch people in the offal organs who mock her looks because I hear her voice in my head telling me to do so. If that voice ever commands me to kill hookers, I could see going into double digits before any soul searching. If this chick were arrested for child porn and fucking boys across state lines, we’d all talk about how lucky those second graders were. You cry duck face, I’m diving in and making babies. Let’s see whose lineage is dominating this earth two hundred years from now when the planet is half a degree warmer and gluten has created a race of autistic sea bound creatures.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet