Emily Ratajkowski Bikini Models For Surfline

By Lex May 22, 2013 @ 11:30 AM

I have this buddy who dates lots of models. Let’s call him Chad, even though his real name is Mark. Chad likes to bitch about how boring and self-absorbed these models are. We like to punch Chad and call him a homo and then ironically beg him for tales of crazy sex with these models because we’re insanely jealous. It’s not easy being a man. We get no Oprah to discuss our complicated feelings, feelings like wanting to get laid, wondering when we’ll get laid next, and lamenting how we’re supposed to get laid with guys like Chad stealing more than his fair share.

Here’s Emily Ratajkowski modeling for Surfline. Men go to war over girls like Emily, except for the one man banging her who just wants to stay home and talks about the benefits of peace.

Photo Credit: Surfline

6 photos in gallery >

Tags: emily ratajkowski |

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Emily Ratajkowski Models Lingerie

By Lex March 04, 2013 @ 1:25 PM

We had some amazing pictures of Emily Ratajkowski up before Carl’s Jr. went and ruined everything by forcing us to remove them. There’s nothing worse than a legal letter from a burger chain. It’s all nasty and threatening and written on a greasy piece of crumpled up yellow service paper. Carl’s Jr. did invent the stoner-magnificent Cap’n Crunch milkshake, so they get some kind of lifetime pass.

In more than serviceable replacement, Emily Ratajkowski’s photo shoot from Frederick’s of Hollywood came out and it’s worth reviewing. I’ve never been in a Frederick’s of Hollywood store, not during normal business hours, but it looks like they sell the same things every other lingerie store sells — false hope that your girl will ever look like Emily Ratajkowski in lingerie.

29 photos in gallery >

Tags: emily ratajkowski, Frederick’s of Hollywood, lingerie |

3 Comments

Emily Ratajkowski Takes Her Top Off For Turks and Giggles

By Lex March 01, 2013 @ 1:59 PM

There’s no real reason to complain about Emily Ratajkowski, except maybe for the fact that you and I will likely never bang her. And I don’t mean together, I mean, either of us, alone, ever.

This chick used to be a teen actress on iCarly and some other stupid shows, realized how meaningless that crap is unless you’re the star making bank, and went promptly into sexy modeling, including some nude photos and amazing spreads like this one in GQ Turkey. Why Turkey? Who the fuck knows? And, do you care? Thanks to the Internet, I didn’t have to run the risk of getting Midnight Expressed for my travel weed in an Ankara airport.

Photo credit: GQ Turkey