By Lex April 08, 2014 @ 2:43 PM
After that long stretch of work you put in to get a new girlfriend naked finally, there’s a feeling of disappointment when the next day she’s suddenly wrapped in a burqa and five cardigan sweaters shivering like a Serbian war crimes victim. I feel this same type of disappointment seeing Emily Ratajkowski in bikinis. We had her naked. She’s always naked. She was naked with Robin Thicke long enough to make Robin’s wife get pissed and divorce him. So now the swimsuits? No, darling, you’re great looking, but this world doesn’t spin forward if we all start walking backward.
Photo Credit: Shay Todd
By Lex March 01, 2014 @ 3:18 AM
Photo Credit: Minimale Animale
By Lex February 18, 2014 @ 4:34 PM
Emily Ratajkowski has officially made it. Maybe that means we never get to see her tits again, the downside of her success for the rest of us. As I get older, I’ve learned to feel happy for the success of others. Still, I would like to make her her next bikini. Not guitar picks, but something more personal, like my sheath of my own flesh.
Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated
By Lex January 20, 2014 @ 3:02 PM
If my eyes don’t deceive me, that’s an old Datsun 280Z from the 1970′s. Yeah, I’m looking at the car. Okay, now I’m looking at Emily Ratajkowski’s tits. Shit, I might be getting old.
Photo Credit: Magdalena Wosinska
By Lex January 06, 2014 @ 3:19 PM
I’d like to get to a place in my life where models with big yabbos are putting stickers of my face on their nips. It seems like a strong position. Over New Year’s a weight challenged girl on Molly let me sign her left ass cheek with a felt tip. I’m getting close.
Photo Credit: Terry Richardson