Eva Longoria Rides Her Bike Looking for Cock

By Lex August 26, 2013 @ 12:26 PM

Eva Longoria Looking Chesty While Riding Her Bike In Los Angeles
Eva Longoria is pretty genius. You wouldn’t know from hearing her mind numbing political platitudes. But just like a sinister dude, she set up a whole reality dating show with NBC last year so she could cast a bunch of super hot male model dudes in her dating range, one of whom she started boning furiously around the globe. They shagged in France and Spain and Greece and in a bunch of other places rich people go to have sex, like the ass. Since she thinks like a dude, after three months of non-stop humping, Eva dumped her new boyfriend and jumped on her bike to go find the next piece of meat. People just don’t understand the work involved in being a man.

Photo Credit: PCN

as expected, Eva Longoria has a really nice ass

By brendon September 20, 2012 @ 5:21 PM

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Wouldn’t it be great if there was a book that had pictures of Usher asleep in a fancy hotel? And what if that book only cost $50? You’d jump on a deal like that, right?

Of course you would, we all would. And now we can, thanks to ‘Asleep at the Chateau‘ from photographer Jork Weismann, who is either German or kidding. Not only does it have pictures of famous people taking naps or maybe dead, it also has random semi-naked pictures of Eva Longoria (nsfw) and other girls who may or may not be famous, like “Natalia” (nsfw) and “Krystal” (nsfw). It’s the perfect gift for photography lovers and necrophiliacs.

that’s perfect Eva Longoria, don’t move

By brendon June 14, 2012 @ 2:32 PM

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Eva Longoria is in Monte Carlo today to promote ‘Desperate Housewives’ during the 52nd Monte Carlo TV Festival, though that was probably obvious as soon as you saw her titty-fucking a giant gold statue with her head. There’s no explanation needed, that says “watch Desperate Houswives” all by itself.

(image source = getty)

Eva Longoria is single

By brendon March 08, 2012 @ 6:52 PM

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Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz (Penelopes brother) have broken up after dating for a little over a year. He’s already run home to Madrid, though things are said to be cordial between them and no reason was given for the break-up. Probably because he’s a boring dolt who needs his famous sister to meet girls. I on the other hand am a adventurous hunk who lives for danger, as you can tell by my shark tooth necklace and ivory handled pistols.

(source = us weekly and splash)

Eva Longoria stuffs her bra

By brendon August 19, 2011 @ 1:34 PM

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Most people think working on a fancy TV show would be really glamourous. Here’s the reality; Eva Longoria on the set of ‘Desperate Housewives’ yesterday, standing by a trash can and stuffing her bra with kleenex. Or at least that’s what the picture agency said she was doing. Maybe she just got sweaty. They should have had someone go pull her dress down and then we’d know. If kleenex fell out, then she’s busted. If not, well then hey, no harm done.

(image source = pacific coast)

oh, hi there Eva Longoria. how are you.

By brendon July 05, 2011 @ 9:25 AM

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Eva Longoria spent the 4th of July in Marbella, Spain, in a white bikini on a yacht with her boyfriend Eduardo Cruz (she’s 36 and he’s 25, btw). He’s Penelope Cruz’s little brother. He also seems a little dense. At one point Eva bent over with her legs straight and practically grabbed her ankles. And he just stood there like a jackass. Her vagina could have snapping jaws with razor sharp teeth in it and I still would have mounted that skinny bitch.

(image source = splash and bauer griffin)