Most people think working on a fancy TV show would be really glamourous. Here’s the reality; Eva Longoria on the set of ‘Desperate Housewives’ yesterday, standing by a trash can and stuffing her bra with kleenex. Or at least that’s what the picture agency said she was doing. Maybe she just got sweaty. They should have had someone go pull her dress down and then we’d know. If kleenex fell out, then she’s busted. If not, well then hey, no harm done.
(image source = pacific coast)
Eva Longoria spent the 4th of July in Marbella, Spain, in a white bikini on a yacht with her boyfriend Eduardo Cruz (she’s 36 and he’s 25, btw). He’s Penelope Cruz’s little brother. He also seems a little dense. At one point Eva bent over with her legs straight and practically grabbed her ankles. And he just stood there like a jackass. Her vagina could have snapping jaws with razor sharp teeth in it and I still would have mounted that skinny bitch.
(image source = splash and bauer griffin)
Eva Longoria was on David Letterman last night to promote her new cookbook (wait, what), and since she’s not afraid to dress sexy she dressed sexy. And by that I mean she wore some very short shorts and a super tight jacket and that was it.
An outfit like that doesn’t really lend itself to movement, you need to sit motionless, perfectly still as if a T-Rex was looking for you, which Longoria didn’t do, and so Dave got to see her tit (video here). Last night would have been a good night to introduce a new segment where the guests have to run down some rolling barrels.
(NOTE: Holy Shit.)
Eva Longoria at least tried to look sexy for last nights Golden Globe awards, but her depressing tits are useless and so it didn’t work.
This is one of the most boring and unsexy periods I can ever think of in Hollywood. No one ever wears anything good, and most of the big stars are either not pretty or not pretty anymore. About the most positive thing I can say is that there’s room for improvement everywhere. You could find hotter girls putting ads on craiglist asking for you to come rape them.
The bad news for Tony Parker is that Eva Longoria is divorcing him because he was “sexting” with the wife of one of his teammates. The good news is she’s single now too! OK! magazine says…
A local San Antiono TV station, KENS 5, exclusively reports that former Spurs player Brent Barry and his wife Erin are headed to divorce court.
According to KENS 5, Brent has filed a petition for divorce. He reportedly states that he and Erin have “ceased to live together as husband and wife” and cites irreconcilable differences.
Tony “Wife Fucker” Parker is bound to be super popular in the Spurs locker room now. On a side note… wow. A cunning, vindictive Latin girl and a back-stabbing Frenchman. It’s like this story is made up entirely of stereotypes I have of other nationalities.
When Eva Longoria found out her husband Tony Parker was “sexting” with Erin Barry, the wife of Parkers San Antonio Spurs teammate Brent Barry, she knew her marriage was over, but that’s not what she told Parker. Because she wanted to exact some sort of revenge first. Why would she do that instead of just walking away? Because Latin girls are all completely fucking crazy, that’s why. Radar says…
“But Eva was hurt and she wanted a little revenge,” the source revealed. “So she blindsided Tony with the divorce filing.
“They were working out the details about who was going to file and when. They didn’t want it to become a messy divorce. Then Eva got a little revenge and didn’t tell Tony she was filing and dropped the papers on him, catching him off balance for the media blitz.”
Wow that was lame. She really sucks at revenge. Nice. Now I love her more than ever. Obviously she’s fantastic looking, but she’s so damn little, she’s basically a fleshlight that makes 3 million dollars a year. Top that.
