FEMEN Wins Court Case In Paris

The lovely ladies of FEMEN cheered in a French court as they were acquitted of all charged related to running their naked tits over the antiquities of Notre Dame Cathedral in protest of something super important nobody remembers. It was written on their tits in felt pen if you want to go back and look. This was considered a very French decision as the judges agreed that surly women without real jobs were to be granted...read more

FEMEN Topless Fountain Takeover

The stout faction of the FEMEN army seized control of a fountainsculpture declaring themselves ensconced until the Spanish government reverses its Gag Laws banning people from complaining about how shitty the Spanish government is. It's kind of hard not to root for these girls your well-meaning grandma tried to set you up with when she was worried you might be gay. Governments shouldn't have the same power as parents...read more

FEMEN Have Lost Their Way

FEMEN might be victims of their own success. Like any franchise operation, it's a struggle keep the satellite entities in tune with the strident feminist agenda during periods of rapid expansion. Franchisees can easily go rogue. This group of titty painted protestors in France found themselves denouncing a law that fines johns for soliciting prostitution. I'm not sure that got routed through central for approval. In...read more

FEMEN Protestors Protested

It's like looking in a mirror facing a mirror and seeing your reflection an infinity times over. A couple FEMEN protestors hit Morocco to protest the treatment of homosexuals in the country of largely homosexual hating faith based and were met with a protest of their own. Apparently, the locals didn't take well to having the Vassar dorm girls European edition parachuting topless into Rabat and screaming shit at the...read more

Topless FEMEN Protester Taken Downtown

The good soldier walks a lonely road. This blond chick was cast out FEMEN for having tits a man might desire. She went rogue at a protest over the Spanish Prime Minister outlawing abortions or taxing tampons like soda or something. A desperate attempt to get the girls at the clubhouse to take her back. Decals on your tits? This is why you were cast out in the first place. Police swooped in and neutralized this lone...read more

A Priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi Walk Into a Bar

I hate being the guy to point out that the more clever FEMEN becomes, the less attractive their activists. But I don't mind the heavy lifting. It's statistically challenging to find hot smart chicks who will bare their Sharpie marked up tits in public. Just imagine that Craigslist Paris ad for that no-pay gig. Smarmy crickets. On International Women's Day, the all god's creatures are beautiful girls of FEMEN took to...read more

FEMEN Vs. Zuckerberg, Not A Fair Fight

The ever-boisterous garden club ladies of FEMEN were protesting in Barcelona outside some tech conference where Mark Zuckerberg was set to announce that he owns all you bitches, drop the mic, and depart through the ceiling in his four city block sized hovercraft. The topless feminists are pissed that Facebook is censoring their topless protest pictures. They obviously see it as political, oblivious to Zuck's massive...read more

FEMEN Protests Laws Banning FEMEN

The way in which European nations teeter between socialism and totalitarianism amuses me. Mostly because I don't have to live there. In France, there are two parties. The Let Muslims In So What If they Kill a Few Jews Party and the Kill All The Muslims, The Jews Can Go Next Party. In Spain the government doesn't appreciate its citizens protesting what a shitty job it's doing with its financial collapse so it passed a...read more

Dominique Strauss-Kahn Faces FEMEN

I love a good intersection of super fucking annoying people story lines. Dominique Strauss-Kahn is that old dude who was going to be French President but then he forced a maid in a New York Hotel to blow him so he got bumped down to head of the International Monetary Fund. That's a tough price for a little rape. Now he's on trial in France for hiring prostitutes and throwing co-ed lemon parties on the regular. Which...read more

FEMEN Protestor Snatches Baby Jesus

Everybody loves a good abortion. But do you love it enough to snatch up the Baby Jesus at the Vatican manger scene on Christmas and make a run for it? You're inevitably going to be arrested by a dude with a cape and thrown in a medieval dungeon for forty years. Actually, they let the FEMEN abortion rights protestor go after 24 hours when the lay guards became super uncomfortable with a woman reciting the names of...read more

FEMEN Protestors At The Vatican

You adapt or you die. The FEMEN protestors added coordinated dance moves and miming of Christ on the cross fucking them up their poop traps for their latest Vatican protest. The Pope is not a politician they yelped as onlookers tried to figure out what the fuck they were talking about and if any of the protestors were good looking enough to keep watching or it it was time for gelato. While feminists in the U.S. are...read more

Leadership

Most things go to shit for lack of leadership. I'm not sure why people who lack intestinal fortitude seek positions of power in the first place. Probably some psychological explanation beyond my introduction to Freud. I don't care if it's Ebola, NFL domestic abuse, Jihadi nutjobs, or telling fat kids to get outside and run some fucking laps, a bunch of people in positions of power lack grip in their nut sack. You...read more

FEMEN Boobs Activate in London

The FEMEN sorority house just opened up a U.K. chapter and the London pledges were tasked to spin the wheel of virulent causes to select their first assignment. The wheel landed on FGM. That's Female Genital Mutilation. Despite it being illegal, thousands of British girls of African lineage are still having their genitals carved up to please the tree gods and ensure sexual purity. Nobody in British government seems to...read more

FEMEN Members Suck Dildos Because They Care

Before their French twist, FEMEN was pretty much your standard awkward titty feminists with angry slogans shrieking outside an economic summit or pro-life institution or McDonald's in Bucharest. Now, they've got wigs and props and somebody who learned how to write passable naughty English phrases. I don't care whose side you're on in this debate over whatever the hell it is that has your boy shorts in a bunch, if you...read more

FEMEN Protesters Frenched Up

I'm a big supporter of the causes and concerns that the angry Ukrainian Feminist topless protestors shout about while covered in fake blood and slogan scribble. I don't speak Esperanto, so I admittedly don't actually know what they're pissed about, but in a battle of angry topless women versus I don't know who the fuck you're angry at, I know which side to take. Since setting up their new girls only central command in...read more