FEMEN Protests Laws Banning FEMEN

By Lex February 27, 2015 @ 12:39 PM

The Bare Breasted Activists Knowns As Femen Protest For Spain
The way in which European nations teeter between socialism and totalitarianism amuses me. Mostly because I don’t have to live there. In France, there are two parties. The Let Muslims In So What If they Kill a Few Jews Party and the Kill All The Muslims, The Jews Can Go Next Party. In Spain the government doesn’t appreciate its citizens protesting what a shitty job it’s doing with its financial collapse so it passed a bunch of laws saying you can’t publicly say what a shitty job they’re doing. You can’t protest in the streets or carry signs or take pictures of anybody protesting or carrying signs. And you definitely can’t run down the street with your tits bouncing screaming about the new laws preventing you from doing so. They’re not having much luck against these flapjacked Women’s Studies majors. I doubt they’ll do much better with the public at large. Spain will never be Russia. Just too much nice weather and beaches and good food and wine. Fascist domination isn’t that important when you can eat cured meats and bang chicks with tan lines.

Photo Credit: Getty

Dominique Strauss-Kahn Faces FEMEN

By Lex February 13, 2015 @ 1:39 PM

FEMEN Activists Protest While Topless For France Trial
I love a good intersection of super fucking annoying people story lines. Dominique Strauss-Kahn is that old dude who was going to be French President but then he forced a maid in a New York Hotel to blow him so he got bumped down to head of the International Monetary Fund. That’s a tough price for a little rape. Now he’s on trial in France for hiring prostitutes and throwing co-ed lemon parties on the regular. Which seems so French I can’t believe it’s actually illegal in France. Or that feminists would be pissed about it. I thought they supported a woman’s right to choose. Even if that choice is taking rough dick from a bunch of self-impressed geezer politicians with old money and a shit ton of Viagra. The topless protestors wrote some silly referential shit on their tits and climbed atop Strauss-Kahn’s car as he made his way to trial. He probably stroked a freebie out in his ride. That’s just how DSK rolls.

Photo Credit: Getty

FEMEN Protestor Snatches Baby Jesus

By Lex December 29, 2014 @ 10:33 AM

Baby-Jesus-at-the-Vatican

Everybody loves a good abortion. But do you love it enough to snatch up the Baby Jesus at the Vatican manger scene on Christmas and make a run for it? You’re inevitably going to be arrested by a dude with a cape and thrown in a medieval dungeon for forty years. Actually, they let the FEMEN abortion rights protestor go after 24 hours when the lay guards became super uncomfortable with a woman reciting the names of Saints she’d like to take in her liberated vagina. These strident euro feminists aren’t settling for bogus campus rape stories or pretending Lena Dunham is witty, they’re penning stupid shit on their tits and going right where old rich white men are plotting to take away their right to freshen up their uteri with suction and a rinse. It’s hard not to admire topless chicks with enormous balls.

FEMEN-protestor-in-France

Photo credit: Getty Images

FEMEN Protestors At The Vatican

By Lex November 19, 2014 @ 10:20 AM

FEMEN Protestors At The Vatican
You adapt or you die. The FEMEN protestors added coordinated dance moves and miming of Christ on the cross fucking them up their poop traps for their latest Vatican protest. The Pope is not a politician they yelped as onlookers tried to figure out what the fuck they were talking about and if any of the protestors were good looking enough to keep watching or it it was time for gelato. While feminists in the U.S. are busy adding excessive hyperlinks to their tirades in HuffPo blogs, these European freedom fighters are taking their crazy to the street. If you’re looking for bitter flat chested women to admire, this is your group.

Photo Credit: Getty

Leadership

By Lex October 13, 2014 @ 3:35 PM

Christmas-is-Canceled-FEMEN

Most things go to shit for lack of leadership. I’m not sure why people who lack intestinal fortitude seek positions of power in the first place. Probably some psychological explanation beyond my introduction to Freud. I don’t care if it’s Ebola, NFL domestic abuse, Jihadi nutjobs, or telling fat kids to get outside and run some fucking laps, a bunch of people in positions of power lack grip in their nut sack. You being loved is not going to save the world, soft-serve Superman.

That’s why I admire this chick. Inna Shevchenko. She’s the leader of those Euro-harpies who write unintelligible feminist shit on their chest and shriek topless through public events. I’m sure we wouldn’t agree on a single subject short of how sweet pussy tastes while nursing a taser wound. But I admire her spunk. She’s fucking Braveheart. She’s no shrinking violet incapacitated by fear of offending key stakeholders. She just bitch fucked the stakeholders and shot cum back in their eye. She sets her tits into the wind and sets sail for the land of no compromise. She knows exactly who she is. Christmas is canceled, motherfuckers.

It would be wonderful if we are able to give this crazy bitch all the power she needs to accomplish the things she needs to.

Photo credit: Getty Images 

FEMEN Boobs Activate in London

By Lex July 08, 2014 @ 12:28 PM

FEMEN Girls Protest Topless At Parliament Square In London

The FEMEN sorority house just opened up a U.K. chapter and the London pledges were tasked to spin the wheel of virulent causes to select their first assignment. The wheel landed on FGM. That’s Female Genital Mutilation. Despite it being illegal, thousands of British girls of African lineage are still having their genitals carved up to please the tree gods and ensure sexual purity. Nobody in British government seems to want to do shit about it because FGM lies smack dab at the intersection of vaginas and cultural sensitivity. Both topics kind of make the Brits queasy and want to look the other way. You know who doesn’t look the other way? The super pissed off superheroes of FEMEN who threw their angry inked up tits into the streets ahead of the 3rd stage of the Tour de France screaming ‘Stop FGM!’. I guess I  didn’t know the Tour de France started in England. I stopped watching when they nabbed one-nut Lance for doping. I also didn’t know Western nations don’t crack down enough on this ancient tribal shit. It’s pretty damn foul. Maybe it’s time to recognize we have something to learn from small chested topless screeching harpies in the public square.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News