08.19.2007 british chicks are fun

You've got to hand it to them - whatever they may lack in human-looking teeth, they make up for in bare tit and a general willingness to party.

So who are these chicks? I'm glad you asked, douchebag. According to the Daily Mail, these fun time party girls are members of The Sisterhood, an organization from which Prince William-ex Kate Middleton recently dropped out, who apparently thought it'd be fun to let some Eli Roth-lookin' dude paint their tits.

Kate Middleton dropped out of The Sisterhood, the all-female crew planning to row the Channel in a dragon boat, because - it is said - Royal aides feared she would attract too much attention.

Holy crap, did I really just read that or am I on mushrooms? On second thought, let's not go to England. 'Tis a silly place.

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Tags: funny talkers, tits |

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08.19.2007 lily allen makes like prom baby

^{Alternate caption: British people dress stupid.}

Tri-nipular singer Lily Allen, who already holds a special place in my heart for being able to pronounce the word "twat" in such a way that it rhymes with "cat", further endeared herself by getting so butthoused that she thought it'd be a great idea to have her friends carry her around in a giant shopping bag. You know, to avoid paparazzi.

British people are so polite. I always hope my friends are going to carry me around like that after I get hammered, but usually I just wake up smelling like balls with "fartknocker" written on my eyelids in sharpie.

Also, I think her stylist has Down Syndrome. Or her stylist thinks Lily has Down Syndrome. One of the two.