Kanye West Wins GQ Style Award, GQ Admits It’s Really Pretty Gay, Its Readers Still in Denial

By Lex December 30, 2015 @ 11:15 AM


Remember when men used to build shit and dig holes and play tackle football and when your dick hurt from having sex with dirty girls you scoffed and threw some dirt on it? Think back to a time before we started drugging boys in school for being physically active.

Somewhere between looking like a homeless slob and laying in bed at night thinking about what belt to wear with your new blazer lies the proper range of heterosexual male wardrobe concerns. Being named the most stylish man of the year by GQ is big for Kanye West. Without irony, he looks forward to helping his wife pick out clothes and ensures he color and fabric coordinates. He’s not gay, he’s just super fucking cloying. GQ notes of his qualifications:

From Haider Ackermann velvet bomber jackets to Balmain blazers, ripped Acne jeans to his beloved Bottega Veneta Chelsea boots, every piece West wears sparks a discussion on the current state of menswear (and, we assume, launches a million Google searches).

I assume the NSA checks my Google searches. I’m comfortable knowing Bottega Veneta Chelsea boots isn’t in there. I’d rather be caught searching for ISIS Jihad How Do I Get Involved. At least you won’t get raped first in prison.

Upscale black entertainers and athletes are super into their appearance and fashion. They masculine offset by bareback fucking tons of young women and producing babies in the manner of indifferent cavemen. It’s an expensive proposition that could’ve easily been offset by just wearing sweats for the rest of your life.

Chrissy Teigen Sort of Nude In GQ

By Lex June 21, 2013 @ 12:49 PM

Chrissy Teigen Nude In July Issue Of GQ Magazine
I like Chrissy Teigen. Not just because she’s naked and really good looking, though let’s not discount that either. Those are the first two qualities I look for in a woman. She likes to get pretty wicked drunk late night and say stupid shit on Twitter. So, she’s like most everybody else on Twitter who isn’t nearly as good looking.

You can see the rest of her deceptively not nude GQ Photos here.

Anne Vyalitsyna Is In GQ Mexico

By Steve G. April 30, 2013 @ 1:14 PM

Anne Vyalitsyna In GQ Mexico

GQ Mexico apparently exists and I was surprised to know they don’t feature Selena Gomez on every cover. They went with Victoria Secret model and girl who dumped Adam Levine, Anne Vyalitsyna, and truthfully I’m not that impressed. Is she good looking? Sure, but do I want to ravage her? Again sure, but these pictures only sort of elicit impure thoughts of bondage and building hidden rooms in the basement, so they do nothing for me. Call me crazy, call me gay, but my opinions dare to be different. And that’s the sexiest thing of all.

Photo Credit: GQ Mexico

Emily Ratajkowski Takes Her Top Off For Turks and Giggles

By Lex March 01, 2013 @ 1:59 PM

There’s no real reason to complain about Emily Ratajkowski, except maybe for the fact that you and I will likely never bang her. And I don’t mean together, I mean, either of us, alone, ever.

This chick used to be a teen actress on iCarly and some other stupid shows, realized how meaningless that crap is unless you’re the star making bank, and went promptly into sexy modeling, including some nude photos and amazing spreads like this one in GQ Turkey. Why Turkey? Who the fuck knows? And, do you care? Thanks to the Internet, I didn’t have to run the risk of getting Midnight Expressed for my travel weed in an Ankara airport.

Photo credit: GQ Turkey