MISCHA BARTON - Is being sued because she can’t pay the monthly $7000 rent on her New York apartment. George Clooney is just givin away new buildings, maybe she can get one of those. (huff post)
JAY LENO - will officially return as Tonight Show host on March 1. NBC says, “The program will continue to showcase many of the features that made Leno America’s late-night leader.” Wow. They really know how to hype someone up. I think I’ll watch it on my 13-inch black and white TV. Change is scary. NBC and I see no reason to rock the boat by trying anything new. (new york times)
HAYDEN PANETIERRE - dyed her hair red, making her 100 percent hotter, because girls with red hair are fuckin hot. Also her shirt says, “Fuck Cancer”. Oooo, whaaat?!? Oh No She Di-ent!!! Cancer is so owned! (inf daily)
I have no idea when Hayden Panawhatever got breasts, but I don’t know why she’s with boxing heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko either. Or why he’s pawing all over her. There’s really not a single thing here that makes a lick of sense. These pictures must have been taken on What The Fuck Island.
(source = pacific coast news)
Hayden Panettiere only turned 20 less than three months ago, but apparently she’s not good with numbers because yesterday she was walking around with a case of Coors Light. By most accounts she’s a pain in the ass with an delusional sense of entitlement, but I’m a big fan of saying hello to friendly dogs, and I’m a huge fan of young girls who are short and skinny getting drunk, so maybe I can get past her bad attitude and we can do it. Versatility, that’s my middle name.
LINDSAY LOHAN - here’s a picture of Lindsay knocking on Sam Ronsons door early this morning. She of course is locked out after yet another fight. Say what you will about Lindsay but she’s perceptive. Sams message got through loud and clear. She wanted Lindsay to knock on the door incessantly. People love that. It’s soothing. (pacific coast)
JANET JACKSON - has separated from her husband Jermaine Dupre. The Jackson family never did like him. When his brother died, he actually buried him. WTF is that all about? So long weirdo. (source = us magazine)
HAYDEN PANETTIERE - went swimming with dolphins this week. I do that too. One time the Dolphin King told me, “You are a good and loyal friend, and you will always have a home here in our underwater kingdom.” True Story! (hq jump here)
Once again, Hayden Panettiere earns stripes for at least making an effort to look hot when she goes out to promote a project. In this case, on her way to MTV yesterday to push “I Love You Beth Cooper”. Of course if I were the “Beth Cooper” producer and all I could get was Hayden, I would have dressed her up like Megan Fox, with the hair and tattoos and all that, then just told people it was Megan Fox until her lawyers made me stop. That could take years.
“Hayden Panettiere” can be a tricky name to spell correctly, so if you’re one of those internet dorks who carry on and on about how hot and sexy she is, a good trick is to replace the words “Hayden” and “Panettiere” with the words “Spider” and “Man”. The end result is the same. Saying you love Hayden or saying you love Spiderman both just mean you’ve never touched or talked to or maybe even seen a human girl in real life.
When she went on Letterman yesterday she wore a dress that won the gold medal in the category of Giving Me An Erection, and you other celebrities need to be more like her and put some GD effort into your public appearances, but she’s still boring and average. There’s nothing wrong with her per se (other than maybe having a penis bigger than mine) but there’s nothing great about her either.
You ever been to a car show and when they announced Best of Show the winner was a beige 2004 Camry with 130,000 miles on it? No? Exactly. That’s Hayden. She’s the beige Camry of Hollywood.
(17 more pics here. hq jump here. image source = splash news online and wenn)
