LINDSAY LOHAN - here’s a picture of Lindsay knocking on Sam Ronsons door early this morning. She of course is locked out after yet another fight. Say what you will about Lindsay but she’s perceptive. Sams message got through loud and clear. She wanted Lindsay to knock on the door incessantly. People love that. It’s soothing. (pacific coast)
JANET JACKSON - has separated from her husband Jermaine Dupre. The Jackson family never did like him. When his brother died, he actually buried him. WTF is that all about? So long weirdo. (source = us magazine)
HAYDEN PANETTIERE - went swimming with dolphins this week. I do that too. One time the Dolphin King told me, “You are a good and loyal friend, and you will always have a home here in our underwater kingdom.” True Story! (hq jump here)
Once again, Hayden Panettiere earns stripes for at least making an effort to look hot when she goes out to promote a project. In this case, on her way to MTV yesterday to push “I Love You Beth Cooper”. Of course if I were the “Beth Cooper” producer and all I could get was Hayden, I would have dressed her up like Megan Fox, with the hair and tattoos and all that, then just told people it was Megan Fox until her lawyers made me stop. That could take years.
“Hayden Panettiere” can be a tricky name to spell correctly, so if you’re one of those internet dorks who carry on and on about how hot and sexy she is, a good trick is to replace the words “Hayden” and “Panettiere” with the words “Spider” and “Man”. The end result is the same. Saying you love Hayden or saying you love Spiderman both just mean you’ve never touched or talked to or maybe even seen a human girl in real life.
When she went on Letterman yesterday she wore a dress that won the gold medal in the category of Giving Me An Erection, and you other celebrities need to be more like her and put some GD effort into your public appearances, but she’s still boring and average. There’s nothing wrong with her per se (other than maybe having a penis bigger than mine) but there’s nothing great about her either.
You ever been to a car show and when they announced Best of Show the winner was a beige 2004 Camry with 130,000 miles on it? No? Exactly. That’s Hayden. She’s the beige Camry of Hollywood.
(17 more pics here. hq jump here. image source = splash news online and wenn)
It’s hard to even make sense of how boring and pointless the MTV Movie Awards have become. It used to be a good show. It was funny, clever, it looked cool and hot girls showed up dressed real slutty. Now … Ashley Tisdale? The Transexual in a seven-minute gum commercial? This must be what it felt like for boxing fans when Muhammad Ali tried to wrestle in the late 70’s. It’s just sad.
I don’t know who the hot piece is with the thong and huge implants, but I bet Hayden is real jealous and pissed off that she got to go on the yacht. Stumpy midget transsexuals are always real jealous of sexy people like me and that goddess with the big tits.
(NOTE: Hollywood funnyman Joe Rogan seems concerned. SECOND NOTE: not really.)
(image source = splash. jump to hq here)
These pictures of possible transexual Hayden Panettiere are only going up because this is the internet and pictures like these are the kind of things we’re supposed to do. They are a rich blue color that I find to be quite lovely, but she sucks and you can’t see anything anyway.
These we’re taken last night at Cannes, and they’re reminiscent of Lindsays famous upskirt pic (this) from the Venice Film Festival. I don’t know what heroic pervert is designing the worlds film festival boat docks but you would think famous girls would have figured out to wear pants by now.
