Hayden Panettiere and Wladmir Klitschko also announced that they’ve broken up today after dating for the past two years, but since I don’t care about that in any way, here’s 47 more pictures of Bar Refaeli in a bikini. You can skip these if you wan’t, but then you won’t see the thrilling conclusion and know what happens when Bar sits down, and only then realizes she wants something to drink! What will she do!
SPOLIER ALERT - she goes and gets it.
(image source = splash news)
Hayden Panettiere went to the Tribeca Film Festival on Sunday in this sexy backless dress that showed off her tat. It says, “Vivere senza rimipianti”, which is Italian for, “To live without regrets”.
The good news is that probably means she’s slutty. The bad news is it’s spelled wrong, something she talked about on the View yesterday..
“Here’s the thing, if you’re going to get a tattoo in a language, just don’t ever go to that country. Or a country where anyone speaks that language…
“It’s not like, ‘Oh I wanted this and now it says, ‘I love apples’. It’s ‘live without regrets’ but it has one extra ‘i’ (the third word starts “rimi…”, it should be “rimp…”) and it’s so minor that people who spoke fluent Italian are like, ‘Egh, that looks right.’ And of course I’m reading in a newspaper that it’s wrong…”
The other bad news is that she was there with her boyfriend, boxer Wladimir Klitschko. He’s the unified heavyweight champion, but he’s from Kazakhstan just like Borat so it’s kind of hard to take him seriously. You want him to say “king in the castle, king in the castle!” when he sits on his stool between rounds but he never does so fuck him. Or maybe I just need to learn more about Kazakhstan. Perhaps playboybustybabes.com will have some information. I’ll check there first.
Hayden Panettiere isn’t really my thing, but she looked fantastic last night at a benefit in Santa Monica for the Surfrider Foundation. She’s sexy and cute at the same time, and that’s hard to do. To top this she’d have to lay on the floor naked and play with baby tigers and pandas.
(image source = getty)
Hayden Panettiere was having lunch in Venice yesterday, but not with her boyfriend, boxing heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko. That gave two different guys the opening they needed to hit on her.
One was a dog, and he actually got to make out with her, but the real winner was me. Her panties were soaked before I even said a word, as soon as she saw my speedo and tiger tooth necklace. Then when I showed her my trophy, and explained that it was for Love Making, I thought she was gonna start masturbating right there at the table.
Long story short, I fucked her.
(image source = fame)
These pictures show either:
A. Hayden Panettiere and her boyfriend, heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko, in Munich this weekend for Oktoberfest.
B. Once upon time there was a beautiful maiden who lived in a poor provincial town, and her kindly old father got very sick. An mean old ogre made him better in exchange for her hand in marriage. Later, a handsome young blacksmith and a magic duck pushed the ogre off a cliff or some shit like that.
CARLOS MENCIA - steals jokes. This of course was a bigger story when Joe Rogan confronted him on stage 3 years ago (video and backstory here), but this morning Opie and Anthony played an audio clip where Carlos actually admits it. It’s possible he was being sarcastic, but that would mean he actually wrote a joke by himself. Seems ridiculous when you think about it like that.
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - is Brazilian but she lives in Malibu and she posted a “Go USA” cheer with a bikini pic on twitter this morning after the US won their game in the World Cup. On a side note, if God had a girlfriend, this is what she would look like. (twitter)
ROBERT PATTINSON - is actually, honestly related to Dracula. Or at least Vlad the Impaler, who is widely considered to be the inspiration for Dracula. “Don’t you dare lump me in with those queers and fatties,” Vlad said when asked for a comment. (yahoo)
MICHAEL JACKSON - fans will be allowed to leave flowers near his grave site on the one year anniversary of his death. Which is bullshit. It should be closed. Wait, not closed. Enclosed. And then riddled with bullets. Good riddance weirdos. (abc)
HAYDEN PANETTIERE - went to LAX with her boyfriend, heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko. He’s from Kazakhstan, just like Borat, and those people don’t fuck around when it comes to putting women in their place. I see a dog crate, but I don’t see any dogs. I hope Hayden has some water and went to the bathroom.
