By Travis May 28, 2014 @ 1:00 PM
Wladimir Klitschko is 6-foot-6 and weighs about 245 pounds, while Hayden Panettiere is 3-foot-1 and weighs as much as a bag of grapes, so it’s only natural to imagine him splitting her into a dozen pieces when they have crazy Ukrainian gorilla sex. But whatever his methods, Wladimir has managed to not only keep Hayden in one piece but he got her pregnant, too. In fact, Us Weekly claims she’s “totally pregnant” in case you doubted the validity of this report. It must have been her doctor who filed that anonymous tip, because only people who went to really expensive schools use such technical medical terms as “totally pregnant” and eventually, once Hayden gives birth, “snatch like the Chunnel.”
Photo Credit: Getty, Glamour
By Lex September 02, 2013 @ 5:02 PM
Now this is Labor Day. Sure, the American labor movement has been crushed into near oblivion. Maybe everything we own is now made in a country overseas that changes its name every ten years to try and make people forget that Gary Glitter violated its children. And maybe the blue collar American middle class worker is now but a Happy Days dream of the past. But we’ve still got the finest tits in the world. Even our short girls have enormous jugs. Sure, the parts were made in those same foreign countries. But we imported them, cleared those bags through customs, and stuffed them in our ladies’ racks. We also almost sort of invented the bikini. America, fuck yeah.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN
By Lex May 14, 2013 @ 1:19 PM
Guys have some strange fascination with short girls. There’s some unfounded collective belief that all short girls are somehow gymnastically inclined nymphomaniac spinners who fly on and off your member like Sandy Duncan in her Peter Pan harness. I once had sex with a shorter gal. She was grumpy as hell and after sex she punched me in the liver and ran off with my gold. I’m not saying that’s how all short women are, just the same, I’d watch my back when doing the deed with any woman not tall enough to ride Space Mountain.
Here’s Hayden Panettiere in a bikini. Apparently she and her big fake boobs can spin 360-degrees on your junk with just a gentle push.
Photo Credit: PCN
By Lex April 01, 2013 @ 12:22 PM
Hayden Panettiere can afford to be cocky. When you’re a midget and the entire male world wants to bang the snot out of you, you’re doing well for yourself. She’s also now engaged to Vladimir Klitschko who may or may not own one of the seventeen unofficial heavyweight boxing titles. I stopped watching boxing when I saw Oscar de la Hoya crossdressing. She’s making bank, starring on a show, and her fake boobs look damn hot in her bikini. So, fuck yeah, Hayden, let your jingle jangle.
Photo Credit: FlameFlynet
By brendon December 04, 2012 @ 6:06 PM
People have been wondering if Hayden Panettiere finally got breasts implants after seeing her in a bra in this weeks episode of ‘Nashville’. And her boobs do look bigger, and a little weird, but it’s probably just a push up bra and some shadows. I’ll go stare at her tits for another hour or so though just in case.
Hayden Panettiere has been on vacation in Cabo with her boyfriend Scotty McKnight (who for some reason is a receiver for the Jets and not the shy one in a boy band as his name clearly implies), but she didn’t give him a handjob on camera like Adrien Brodys girlfriend did. I don’t know what her deal is. Look Hayden, do you want to be famous or not?
(image source = fame/flynet)