By Travis May 23, 2014 @ 9:00 AM
Everybody’s favorite and totally not overexposed actress Jennifer Lawrence told Seth Meyers a funny story the other night about how she threw up at an Oscars after party, and what made it even funnier and quirkier for the girl next door is that she did it right in front of Miley Cyrus. Everybody ate this shit up with a shovel because Jennifer can’t do anything wrong, but at least one person thinks that this story is a little too cute to be true – Miley Cyrus. In a since deleted tweet, Miley responded to someone that Lawrence’s story “never happened,” which was actually a little bit disappointing. At least tell us what did happen. Did it simply “never happen”, as in Miley didn’t even attend that party? Or did it “never happen” as in Jennifer actually threw up on Miley, because she thought that some vomit on her dress would be a good excuse to strip down to a crotchless body suit and walk around with an Oscar statue in her twat? Details, you boring hick.
Photo Credit: Miley Cyrus’s Instagram
By Travis May 22, 2014 @ 2:00 PM
Everybody seems to love Jennifer Lawrence because she’s young and attractive and has no problem acting like an idiot, all in the name of being quirky and zany. She’s also an Oscar winner, so that bought her a few years of invincibility when it comes to behavior that would be considered really fucking annoying if pulled off by a lesser celebrity. So everyone’s just eating up her witty anecdote that she revealed to Seth Meyers on Late Night last night, about the time that she was at an Oscars after party and she threw up in front of other famous people. Even Miley Cyrus told her to get her shit together, which is really the ultimate sign in knowing that you’re acting like a complete asshole.
By Lex May 12, 2014 @ 4:35 PM
When I was a kid there’d be the occasional lady in the neighborhood who took a spill at public events and my mom would whisper to some other woman the word ‘drunk’. Then the klatch would nod knowingly and telephone game it around until that unbalanced woman would have to move away or maybe they killed her and dumped her in the Stepford River. You didn’t ask lots of questions back then. Not if you wanted ice cream for dessert. Jennifer Lawrence nearly took yet another tumble at the X-Men premiere. She got grabbed by two assistants who just happened to be waiting in the wings. I guess everybody but me is too polite to whisper ‘drunk’. Jennifer says she’s happy and getting married to her own secretly cross-dressing handsome British actor, but is she really? Whenever I see an attractive young woman in obvious trouble like Jennifer I think to myself, man, I hope she gets so fucked up she forgets to wear panties the next time she face plants.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex April 25, 2014 @ 3:41 PM
In an effort to distract attention from her possible engagement ring, Jennifer Lawrence flipped off her middle finger at the British paparazzi while leaving somewhere in London to go somewhere else in London. Maybe to the pub to get some chips with HP sauce or something. Jennifer might be engaged to Nicholas Hoult, the kid who was the boy in About a Boy when it was just a movie you had to see to get laid on a date, not a TV show where you had to pretend Minnie Driver looked amazing so she didn’t peel off her face with a Bowie knife and mail it to you to teach you a lesson. Their marriage would continue the long line of American celebrity women figuring it’d be a good idea to marry skinny male model looking British performers who seem super duper gay. The success rate on those nuptials is pretty low, but you do get to into those exclusive London clubs where you wonder why you can’t smell any cigars even though six men previously announced they were going into the private lounge to smoke some Churchills.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Lex March 04, 2014 @ 3:20 PM
Jennifer Lawrence took a break from being disgusted by Hollywood selling young sexy woman to show up without panties at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. It’s a bold meta statement on her desire to get the media to confess their sins. Quit looking at my pussy, you insidious sellers of snatch! As a reflection of her principles, Jennifer donates five-percent of revenues from all gigs she books due to her big young rack to a charity that helps hot women lament their good looks.
Photo Credit: Getty, WENN
By Jack January 14, 2014 @ 3:51 PM
Director David O. Russell got into trouble this week when he compared leading lady Jennifer Lawrence’s work on The Hunger Games to slavery. He was talking to the NY Daily News about his favorite young ingenue and how he worries about her health because she works too hard playing Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games movies. He says, “I personally think they should give her a bit of breathing room over there because they’re printing money.” Then he just couldn’t shut the fuck about about the persecution she faces:
“I’ll tell you what it is about that girl — talk about 12 years of slavery, that’s what the franchise is. And I’m going to get in so much trouble for saying that.”
You don’t really get in trouble for saying stupid shit, people just think you’re stupid. I’m sure that young Ms. Lawrence works long hours filming The Hunger Games, it isn’t exactly fucking slavery is it? Most cotton slaves didn’t get paid $10 million to play dress up and learn a few lines to mouth out. I do think many slaves lived in hotel rooms and had private trailers and fresh veggie platters with hummus, but they definitely didn’t get paid the ten mill. David O. Russell needs to learn that errant and idiotic analogies to slavery are best left to pandering civil rights leaders and cable talk show hosts. If he wants to help, he could convinced Jennifer to take her top off in his next film. From goat to hero just like that.