Joey Chestnut Tastes Defeat In Gyoza Eating Competition

By Michael August 19, 2013 @ 4:15 PM

Joey Chestnut, the Michael Jordan of eating like a fucking pig, lost the World Gyoza Eating Championships to up and comer Matt Stonie. The contest was held at the Japanese American Cultural and Community Center in L.A. where Chestnut, the reigning Gyoza eating champ, was bested 268 to 251. Chestnut is the best known competitive eater in the world, the growing “sport” where people risk asphyxiation and type-2 diabetes for our sick enjoyment. Is it possible that Chestnut’s days of grossing us all out by swallowing enough grub to feed a starving African village numbered?

I don’t think so, not yet anyway. He won the “Super Bowl” of competitive eating, the Nathan’s 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest this year. He may be slowing down but he’s still a badass. He’s like Mariano Rivera in the mid-00′s, not in his prime but still pretty fucking good.

Joey Chestnut Eats 69 Hot Dogs To Victory (VIDEO)

By Lex July 04, 2013 @ 2:16 PM

Competitive eating is not a sport. And it’s really fucking disturbing. Not because it involves the gross consumption of food for entertainment value while hundreds of millions of kids are trying to catch a cricket for dinner to keep from starving. Those kids will grow up hungry and ambitious and run dictatorships in their small corrupt nations. But because it’s a bunch of people furiously shoving meat and bread in their gaping maws just waiting to vomit. That’s not a a sport. That’s bulimia night at the Kappa Delta House. Just because shit is hard to do, doesn’t make it a sport. I’m talking to you golf.