keifer sutherland is doing great

By brendon April 22, 2010 @ 12:43 PM

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The National Enquirer has some exclusive pictures of Keifer Sutherland after his drunken strip club binge in London, and as awesome as that is I get the feeling their exclusive story stops there. Because after that they have a bunch of quotes that they clearly made up.

“It’s last call for Keifer as far as most of his friend are concerned,” a source close to the troubled thesp said.  “He’s killing himself!”
Sutherland was gulping down numerous glasses of wine in the bar until 2 AM , an eyewitness revealed.
Two hours later,  an even more  intoxicated — and  now shirtless –  Sutherland was booted from the club by four bouncers!  One ox had Keifer in a headlock, shoving him into the backseat of a waiting car where he was driven back to his hotel. 
“EVERYONE’s tired of his destructive behavior,” the source concluded. “We’re deeply disappointed.”

“It’s last call for Keifer”? Seriously?

All tabloid sources seem to sound exactly alike. Like someone in a Mae West movie. I’m surprised they didn’t add, “a-hubba-hubba“ when talking about the strippers. And then someone in a derby should chomp on a cigar and say, “he’s gonna play it my way or he’s dead, ya see?”

friday afternoon headlines

By brendon April 16, 2010 @ 7:23 PM

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KIM KARDASHIAN - is bare ass naked in an un-retouched photo for Bazaar magazine (hq full size here). I hope she does Playboy again. Because I liked seeing her naked. Especially her boobs. I hope my insight into this matter has answered any questions you may have had. (us magazine)

KIM KARDASHIAN - is dating soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, who is a nice contrast to her ex boyfriend Reggie Bush. In the sense that he’s clearly super super off-the-charts gay. (OK magazine)

KEIFER SUTHERLAND - was thrown out of a London strip club late Wednesday night, with no shirt on, by 4 bouncers, for “disorderly conduct.” IT WAS A FUCKING WEDNESDAY. God that dude is cool. (ny post)

(UPDATE!) WHY IS - a video picture set of a cute girl getting stoned off her ass so compelling to watch? It’s one of lifes greatest mysteries, that neither science nor religion has yet to answer. (you tube htgb)

SOPHIE MUNK - had her car broken into in Beverly Hills. So she called the cops and then posed for pictures in skin tight leather pants. It’s one of the few police reports you’d be able to jack off to.

tuesday morning headlines

By brendon November 03, 2009 @ 12:21 AM

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JENNIFER LOVE CHEWIT – tortured boys everywhere by twittering just this one picture of her as a Playboy bunny for Halloween (full size UHQ here). Aren’t you surprised she didn’t post more? I know I was surprised. According to sources that are Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost a ton of weight and now looks amazing, but here all we have is this one picture, a picture reminiscent of when fat girls on myspace try to pull the ol’ fat girl “switch-a-roo”. Why would she do that?  It’s quite a mystery. Someone should call the cops.  (twitter)

JOSS WHEDON – borrowed an old SNL joke (*) to announce his bid to buy the Terminator franchise, the rights to which will be auctioned off later this month. The company that currently holds the rights to all future Terminator projects – including movies, TV and games – has to sell them because they’re so in debt. You can still make real Terminators though and extract your revenge on girls who laughed at you in high school.  (NOTE – “Don’t I know it, heh-heh-heh!”)  (deadline hollywood)

KIEFER SUTHERLAND – ran up a $500 bar tab with the cast and crew of ’24’ during a break in shooting last week in San Pedro. Awesome now gets awesomer because they were there between 7am and 1pm. That’s right. They STARTED drinking at 7 in the morning. Kiefer paid for everyone, then left a $200 tip. After that they left so Kiefer could win every single category at the Coolest Guy Ever Awards. (tmz)

CHRISTINA RICCI – was in Miami over the weekend, and I forgot to post these yesterday when they were topical, but I already bought them so, hey look, it’s Christina Ricci in Miami! “She’s no Kimberly Phillips”, as the popular saying goes, but some of these are pretty hot. Her piercing blue eyes are an intoxicating ocean of intrigue, her rippling muscles glisten in the sun and her super short shorts reveal just a hint of her tight little sexy ass. Wait. Wait no sorry. I was seeing my reflection in the monitor. False alarm, everyone. (mavrix and splash and inf)

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“24″, SEASON 6 HAS A TRAILER

By brendon October 30, 2006 @ 9:25 AM

It would have been nice if Randy had explained to me that this was the trailer for season 6 of "24". All he said in the email was "you have to see this". Well I did and when I found out that today America is under siege and that the casualty estimate in St. Louis has risen to 112, it scared the hell out of me. It turns out this is some sort of TV show. Well that's just great. I practically squeezed my Paddington bear to death. Then I dumped over my Arab neighbors trash cans and told him he'd never take me alive. Thanks a lot Randy. Stupid jerk.

(it's okay Paddington! *mwah mwah mwah*)