tuesday morning headlines

By brendon November 03, 2009 @ 12:21 AM


JENNIFER LOVE CHEWIT – tortured boys everywhere by twittering just this one picture of her as a Playboy bunny for Halloween (full size UHQ here). Aren’t you surprised she didn’t post more? I know I was surprised. According to sources that are Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost a ton of weight and now looks amazing, but here all we have is this one picture, a picture reminiscent of when fat girls on myspace try to pull the ol’ fat girl “switch-a-roo”. Why would she do that?  It’s quite a mystery. Someone should call the cops.  (twitter)

JOSS WHEDON – borrowed an old SNL joke (*) to announce his bid to buy the Terminator franchise, the rights to which will be auctioned off later this month. The company that currently holds the rights to all future Terminator projects – including movies, TV and games – has to sell them because they’re so in debt. You can still make real Terminators though and extract your revenge on girls who laughed at you in high school.  (NOTE – “Don’t I know it, heh-heh-heh!”)  (deadline hollywood)

KIEFER SUTHERLAND – ran up a $500 bar tab with the cast and crew of ’24’ during a break in shooting last week in San Pedro. Awesome now gets awesomer because they were there between 7am and 1pm. That’s right. They STARTED drinking at 7 in the morning. Kiefer paid for everyone, then left a $200 tip. After that they left so Kiefer could win every single category at the Coolest Guy Ever Awards. (tmz)

CHRISTINA RICCI – was in Miami over the weekend, and I forgot to post these yesterday when they were topical, but I already bought them so, hey look, it’s Christina Ricci in Miami! “She’s no Kimberly Phillips”, as the popular saying goes, but some of these are pretty hot. Her piercing blue eyes are an intoxicating ocean of intrigue, her rippling muscles glisten in the sun and her super short shorts reveal just a hint of her tight little sexy ass. Wait. Wait no sorry. I was seeing my reflection in the monitor. False alarm, everyone. (mavrix and splash and inf)

(*) Even though the right to do whatever you want with Terminators is expected to auction for around 50M, Joss offered to buy them today for 10 grand. In 1976, Lorne Michaels offered the Beatles 3 grand to reunite on SNL (video here). The joke works because you would imagine they would receive more than that. Get it? The number is too low. If you’re laughing too hard and think you may pass out, try to take some deep breaths and think about something sad.

(103) Comments

  1. avatar
    RemSteale 11/03/2009 12:26

    She is still attractive, whats a couple of extra pounds??

  2. avatar
    RedRage 11/03/2009 12:26

    Does it say Jack or Fuck on her right leg? Ridiculous, random tattoos. She should be my sperm shamwow!

  3. avatar
    iwontrememberthis 11/03/2009 12:26

    Consider my penis intrigued, JLH. Don’t let it down!

  4. avatar
    Slaappy 11/03/2009 12:29

    Ricci squished apple head gives me turtle head

  5. avatar
    RedRage 11/03/2009 12:31

    ^ nice string of avis!

  6. avatar
    Zombie 11/03/2009 12:32

    I wanted to have unprotected intercourse with Christina Ricci so bad back in the Casper days.

    However now I think I’d double bag it.

  7. avatar
    Watt 11/03/2009 12:33


    That is all.

  8. avatar
    Zombie 11/03/2009 12:34

    And by “double bag it” I mean 2 ABC store bags pulled over her face while I rawdogged her celebrity cunt silly.

  9. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 11/03/2009 12:35

    Is that the Creature from the Black Lagoon coming out of the water? Fuck she is ugly. A chubby JLH wins over this mess any day.

  10. avatar
    ohmwrecker 11/03/2009 12:35

    Zombie, she has a tattoo to represent each STD she has contracted.

  11. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 11/03/2009 12:37

    Keifer is a cool MoFo. That guy would be fun to booze it up with.

  12. avatar
    dirtydiane 11/03/2009 12:39

    when you have to es’plain your own joke, it sorta loses the funny, Bren.

  13. avatar
    chubby chaser 11/03/2009 12:39

    $500 dollars in 6 hours? Cheap bastard!

  14. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 11/03/2009 12:39

    Ohm, where’ve you been?

  15. avatar
    Zombie 11/03/2009 12:40

    I’m sure she caught some shit from that scene with David Banner in “Black Snake Moan”.

    What’s that shit called that black people have again? Oh right. AIDS.

  16. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 11/03/2009 12:40

    Did I make it in before the part where DB reminds us he’d bang the hell out of Love like he was George Costanza with a jackhammer?

  17. avatar
    ohmwrecker 11/03/2009 12:41

    Girls that are cute when they are young usually make weird looking adults.

    Christina Ricci is starting to look like a hairless bushbaby.

  18. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 11/03/2009 12:42

    iwontrememberthis, Who is that fine big tittayed asian girl in your avi?

  19. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 11/03/2009 12:43

    Ricci is a gol darn shapeshifter!

  20. avatar
    ohmwrecker 11/03/2009 12:43

    What’s up, Rusty? Brazilian girls kick ass, eh? High five!

You must be to post a comment.