In a much more entertaining and worthwhile video from Monday’s Met Gala, Cara Delevingne ended up in an elevator with Reese Witherspoon, Zooey Deschanel and Kate Upton, and it seems that at least Reese decided to get a little loose with the booze. Cara coaxed the already infamous drunk into playing the name game with her, because the way Reese says her last name with that twangy southern voice is a real hoot to a British gal like her. But Reese could barely pronounce any word, let alone “Delevingne” or “Do you know who I am?”, because she was apparently too busy making sure she really got her money’s worth of liquid stupidity for the evening.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com
The last time we saw Reese Witherspoon, she was drunk-bitching out an Atlanta cop for arresting her husband for DUI. She simply wanted to remind the local constable that Hollywood celebrities get special treatment. But that rube just wouldn’t listen. So Reese got cuffed and booked and for a few hours I got to imagine her being passed around a Fulton County women’s jail. If only life ever matched fantasy.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
Reese Witherspoon pled no contest today in Atlanta to charges of being a completely annoying bitch at the scene of her husband’s crime. We can say ‘crime’ because Jim Toth pled guilty to DUI at the same time. Which is a actual crime, for which he got the dreaded alcohol rehab sentence and a stiff fake warning from the judge. This isn’t your daddy’s Georgia.
Updated: TMZ just put out the dash cam video of the arrest. Meh, Reese is only mildly fucking annoying. But the best is the tail end when her husband tries to distance himself from her getting up in the officer’s face. Fucking Jim.
Reese Witherspoon was arrested on Friday morning in Georgia after her husband, James Toth, was pulled over for suspicion of driving while intoxicated, and while it seems strange that someone as squeaky clean as Witherspoon would be arrested when her man was doing all the dirty work, it turns out that she might be a complete bitch.
While the officers were taking care of business with Toth, Witherspoon allegedly got a little high and mighty, leading to her arrest for disorderly conduct. According to the police report, Witherspoon broke out the A+ diva routine.
“Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and say that she did not believe that I was a real police officer…”
According to the report, she “stated that she was a ‘US citizen’ and that she was allowed to ‘stand on American ground.’”
“Mrs. Witherspoon asked, “Do you know my name?” I answered, “No, I don’t need to know your name.” I then added, “right now.” Mrs. Witherspoon stated, “You’re about to find out who I am.”
“Mrs. Witherspoon also stated, ‘You are going to be on national news.’ I advised Mrs. Witherspoon that was fine.” (Variety)
It’s a shame she wasn’t tazed. That officer would have received a parade.
Last night was The 85th Annual Academy Awards and I’m completely ashamed to say I watched the entire thing. To sum it up, Seth MacFarlane did surprisingly not shitty, Jennifer Lawrence fell down, the Best Director winner was bullshit, Ben Affleck got snubbed, then didn’t and George Clooney kept getting free scotch thrown at him for smiling every time someone joked he banged and/or will bang somebody like nine-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis (Actual Seth MacFarlane joke.) who already had to deal with Daniel Day Lewis demanding she thank him backstage. This shouldn’t fuck a kid up.
(Images of celebs who showed up to last night’s Oscars with varying degrees of cleavage or dumb-looking faces = Getty)