What a relief for Robin Roberts. Now that she’s shocked the world by announcing she’s the rare lesbian women’s basketball player, she can gush with endless amusing anecdotes about her life partner just like the other talking painted smiles on morning television. For years Robin had to hide the true identity of who was cranking her mustard each evening when she got home. And America was much worse for not knowing. Now she won’t shut the fuck up about her girlfriend, Amber. Only, she’s not sharing the lesbo sex stuff with her reasonably good looking girlfriend. You know, the stuff one might be interested to hear about. Just the mundane boring relationship bullshit that we currently already hate about heterosexual people. I didn’t vote for gay rights to get the L Word without the sex scenes. I think I was conned. Scissor kissing stories with Amber or this lesbian shit needs to go back into the closet. There’s no reason to legalize boring.
Robin Roberts is definitely gay. I know, because she told me and the world so. Last year she went on the air to announce she had cancer. Now she’s gay. Next year she’s going to hold a press conference to reveal that she her dog has nipples. It’s always breathtaking when Robin comes out with a big announcement.
Now that almost the entire world is coming out, nobody wants to be the last one on the gay train. The exception might be Aaron Rodgers. Perez Hilton, among others, are circulating rumors that Aaron Rodgers is gay. Perez doesn’t knows shit about football, but he knows a lot about man-man love. He’s been reading into the Tweets of Aaron Rodger’s long time male ‘personal assistant’ and ‘roommate. I think those quotes are meant to imply that Aaron loves to teabag man nuts..Perez seems to believe Rodgers might be the secret pro sports star everybody has been waiting to come out of the closet since the Jason Collins gay kickball announcement this past summer. I’m going to resist the urge to use the Fudge Packer joke…oh, fuck, too late. Personally, I could care less who bangs who, though I would caution less progressive Packers fans to keep the S.F. ‘homo’ jokes to a minimum this week until they get a better read on their starting QB.
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