The Harriet Tubman Sex Tape Was a Huge Success (VIDEO)

By Lex August 14, 2013 @ 10:33 PM


Update: Yeah, I guess Russell Simmons didn’t like this turd sticking around so much in the public eye so his lawyer contacted our lawyer, and, you know… the video is gone. But not possibly forgotten.

I like Russell Simmons mostly because the big papers always refer to him as rap mogul Russell Simmons. You’re pretty hot shit when you get a moniker like that. But Russell Simmons done shit the bath when he uploaded the Harriet Tubman Sex Tape to his brand spanking new All Def Digital YouTube Channel yesterday. He must’ve known he was running a huge risk of offending every single black person in America with the setup, and I guess he thought he could turn that on its head because, well, he’s rap mogul Russell Simmons and the shit was funny. Except it’s not funny. At all. Now he’s rap mogul Russell Simmons with a lame ass racist video. Whoever the fuck Crystal Fleming is even started one of those obnoxious Change.org petitions to get Russell to apologize for denigrating women and being really mean to black people. She utilized the term ‘rape culture’ to show that she went to lots of sexual assault rallies in college. All Def Digital channel promptly removed the spoof video from YouTube. Though that wasn’t good enough for whoever the fuck Crystal Fleming is because she says she and the 600 other brave souls on her powerful online petition will not be satisfied until they get a fully apology from Russell Simmons. Yeah, that’s not coming. You don’t get to be a rap mogul by apologizing for crappy creative.

russell simmons is the winner

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 6:38 PM

Russell Simmons, Julie Henderson

Julie Henderson and Russell Simmons spent another day at the beach in Miami today, and while Julie is no Marissa Miller, she is a 5’10” blue-eyed blond Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model from Texas (aka – “the White Mans Prize”), so you definitely have to hand it to Russell Simmons.

With that in mind I asked Russell about his technique to scoring with the ladies. Step 1 was: “Have hundreds of millions of dollars”. That was also step 2 and 3. There was no step 4. If someone mentions that you look like a tall version of the baby in Benjamin Button, see step 1.

(9 more here. hq jump here. source = inf and mavrix online)

RUSSELL SIMMONS SEES WHAT HE WANTS TO

By brendon December 11, 2006 @ 11:49 AM

Russell Simmons took a nine day fact-finding mission to South Africa and Botswana last week to take a first hand look at the diamond mining industry after an invitation from the Diamond Information Center.  And the Daily News says, “Simmons came away with mostly positive impressions of how the diamond business has improved the lives of the poor there."  Simmons said:

"They're smart business people … I'm not here to defend the past of these companies. I'm here to talk about the current reality. Diamonds pay for education and medical treatment in Africa."

Which is news to Ed Zwick, director of the new Leo DiCaprio movie "Blood Diamond”.  The term "blood diamond", of course, is another term for a "conflict diamond", meaning a diamond mined in a war zone and sold – probably to DeBeers – to finance guerilla armies and civil wars in Africa.  DeBeers supplies the diamonds Simmons uses in his Simmons Jewelry line.  Zwick says:

"If you want to know about conflict diamonds, you don't go to Botswana and South Africa. You go to Sierra Leone and Angola. … Russell Simmons is being embarrassed."

You probably don't have to be a powerful psychic to figure out that the diamond industry might have a secret agenda when it comes to informing people about the diamond industry.  Stop number one on Russell's tour was probably a kids park where the kids dance and sing and all the slides are diamond encrusted and there's a giant mascot named Sparkle the Friendly Diamond who would hug the kids and take pictures, and he gave one of them CPR because the kid almost died from being so happy.  "It seems to me that the biggest threat posed by the diamond industry,” Russell did not say, “is that some people may faint from squealing with delight.“