Joe McGinniss, the not-creepy-at-all sounding “journalist” who moved next door so he could spy on her, has finally finished his biography of Sarah Palin, and now the Enquirer has “shocking secrets” from the book “that will impact her decision to enter the 2012 presidential race” for some reason.
McGinniss claims Sarah had a steamy interracial hookup with basketball stud GLEN RICE less than a year before she eloped with her husband Todd.
Sarah hooked up with the NBA great, then a 6-foot-8 junior at the University of Michigan when he was playing in a college basketball tournament in Alaska in 1987 … at the time, Sarah, just out of college, was working as a sports reporter for the Anchorage TV station KTUU.
So, 30 years ago, a single girl had sex with a single guy. What a story this guy uncovered! And here’s another shocking excerpt:
CHAPTER 4:
One time she bought a hat.
A-HA! Got you now, you hat-wearing-guy-sleeper-wither!
fun fact: one year later, Michigan would be number 2 in the country at the time of this tournament, and then lose to Alaska-Anchorage in one of the biggest upsets in the history of college basketball. Perhaps because thier star player was too tired to play well. Sarah Palin puts Alaska first!
Us magazine has an exclusive interview with a secret source today, and he says the story about Sarah Palin getting new breast implants is absolutely ridiculous.
“It’s absolutely ridiculous.”
If you don’t know, this rumor began on the political blog Wonkette three days ago. They linked to this picture and then essentially said Palin got implants. It’s pretty obvious she didn’t (ahem) but for some reason this is still in the news. Here she is back in 2007 touring Kuwait (video). So her breasts haven’t changed. In my opinion this is even worse. She has some nice C’s already, but she could upgrade to a pair of amazing DD’s in a snap. But she won’t for some reason. It’s madness. Look lady, do you want to be President or not?
My favorite part of the Presidential campaign was the final few days when Sarah Palin went for broke and did some speeches with her hair down and in tight jeans that showed off her hot body. Now Celebuzz has some pictures off her in shorts, hanging out by a pool in Miami for the Republican Governors Conference. She's 44, but I’m not even remotely joking when I say I would bang the bejesus out of that chick. There would be a nice symmetry in going after, not just a MILF, but also a VP candidate, because things like banging hot MILFs are what make this country so great. It's that spirit of adventure, the quest to discover new worlds, that made America number 1. I’d slap her on the ass and it would sound like liberty, as we taught each other a civics lesson of love.
At her concert last night in New York City, Madonna said she would kick Sarah Palins ass if she didn't, "get off my street". Whatever the hell that means. Madonna owns the street now, I guess. She did this of course because she thinks Sarah Palins beliefs are ridiculous. Keep in mind that Madonna wears a magic piece of red sting on her wrist to ward off evil spirits, and she believes in spells that can manipulate the laws of nature. I don't know exactly what Sarah Palin is into, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts it's no dumber than wizardry and enchanted yarn.
Madonna opened her "Sitcky and Sweet" tour last night in New York City, and in between whatever "shocking" and "edgy" nonsense she’s thought up this time, she launched one of her famous zingers at Sarah Palin. And, oh baby, it was good. I think. I have no idea if it was good. I'll be honest, I read this like 7 times, and I have absolutely no idea what the fuck Madonna is talking about. Page Six says…
At one point during the US kickoff of her "Sticky and Sweet" tour at the Meadowlands Saturday night, the Material Mom indulged her Republican-hating ways, shouting, "Sarah Palin can't come to my party. Sarah Palin can't come to my show. It's nothing personal." Then the kabbalah queen told the crowd, "Here's the sound of Sarah Palin's husband's snowmobile when it won't start," followed by a loud screeching noise.
I suppose it's possible that Madonna’s comedy is so sophisticated and brilliant it goes right over my head, but I can't even think of one single reason why that would be considered a joke. What does it even mean? That there’s snow in Alaska? Or that things make sounds when they don’t work properly? Because yes, those things are true, but putting them together doesn’t make it a joke. Imagine you were at work and someone in your office said that to you. If they said, here's the sound of a washing machine that doesn’t work, KLAK KLAK KLAK. And here's the sound of a door closing, CLOSE CLICK. If you were wise you would throw hot coffee in their face and then run for your very life.
The Larry Flynt produced porno about Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin has found it's leading lady. The movie is now in pre-production under the name "Nailin' Paylin" and has been fast-tracked to arrive before the election in one month. TMZ says…
The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who "will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door." In another scene — a flashback — "young Paylin's creationist college professor will explain a 'big bang' theory even she can't deny!" There's also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes. The video is in pre-production.
It's surprising that Flynt is going with well known porn stars, because they had this ad on Craigslist ("Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days. Major adult studio. Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP. Pay: $2000-3000. No anal required.") and experts on this sort of thing said ads like that are typically very successful.
(Don’t I know it, hehehe. Right this way Sarah Palins…)
