Photo Credit: L’Officiel Australia
It might be time to re-animate Theodor Geisel and have him pen some instructive prose along the lines of Could You Would You Please Wear A Bra. Sharon Stone’s latest tits only date back about a couple or three years, but there comes a time when Grandma needs to throttle down on the free swingers. Twenty-five years ago men would’ve killed to have Sharon Stone tits slapping them in the face, now her commando tits are making everybody wonder if being gay is so bad. This isn’t sexist. We need to shut down that silver fox in bike shorts crap as well. Only the genitals of our nation’s most attractive young people should ever been seen. That’s the thin line keeping us from going third world.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
I bet if you carbon dated Sharon Stone she’d come back triple digits. Though a black raven would probably peck you to death before you were able to share the results with the world. But her tits look to be about the same age as the last bastard baby born in Hollywood, and Sharon is determined to get her money’s worth. Screw all those gals who get new yabbos and put on a covering sweater and act like they didn’t just have a medical doctor slice open their thorax to give them bigger titties. Sharon Stone wants her investment to be seen, not heard. It’s hard not to admire her for her boldness at her grandmotherly age. Though I’m willing to try really really hard.
Photo Credit: Splash, FameFlynet
Sharon Stone is suing the producers of a Hemingway biopic because she didn’t want to go to Cuba. You know, because it’s fucking illegal. It all started when the cut-up crone was cast as Hemingway’s wife Mary in a film called Papa which is being produced by Bob Yari. Part of the film is supposedly getting shot in Cuba where Hemingway lived for many years drinking and fucking Havana’s famous whores. It is against the law for non-Cuban-Americans to go to Castro’s Island of Decrepit Cars without special paperwork. Yari wanted Stone to lie and say she was going on a “cultural endeavor” instead of the truth, that she’s going to make a movie none of us will ever fucking watch. When she refused, both old and newly reformed parts of Sharon Stone was fired. She’s suing for her promised paycheck of half a mill.
Having jumped through the Cuban hoops to get a visa to visit the old homeland, I can tell you they are pretty fucking selective about who they let into their world’s crappiest house party. Most film productions use Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republic to double as Cuba when shooting movies set there. Of course, you can always sneak in. For the most part, if you’ve got money, they’ll let it slide because they need American dollars something fierce. But it remains illegal on the U.S. side to do this. And while it would make for a harrowing tale at some future SAG Awards while Sharon Stone is holding up her trophy and feigning humility, what she really needs is the quick cash to pay for new cheekbone technology that will allow her to open her jaw wide enough to fellate her way back into some bigger budget motion pictures.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet
Sharon Stone has been hanging out in Paris for Fashion Week with one of her young sons, and it’s safe to say that the kid is never going to have to worry about receiving a failing grade from any of his male teachers. The 55-year old actress had her high beams in full effect while taking a stroll, and I think it’s obvious that time has been pretty good to her.
In fact, it’s a testament to an actress’s career that we’ve already seen her tits and snatch when she was younger and hotter, but we still get a little excited when she shows it off this late in life. Good for you, Sharon. Nip it up, you old broad.
(Photo Credit: KCS Presse/Splash News)