Despite concert promoters claiming that the Spice Girls reunion tour is selling out wherever it stops, that certainly wasn't the case last night in Las Vegas. The Daily Mail says:
Almost half of the seats in the Mandalay Arena auditorium were empty as the group took to the stage for their second show in Las Vegas.
It's not the first disappointment the Spice Girls have encountered since their reunion.
Their charity comeback single Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) is the worst selling Children in Need song ever after it scraped into the UK midweek charts at No.10.
The Spice Girls play their last show in Las Vegas on Tuesday night before heading to New York.
This is even more amazing because it was in Vegas. Everything sells out in Vegas. Celine Dion sold out almost every one of her shows during her three year stay at Caesars. That's 600 shows. I guess the difference is, this is exactly like the old Spice Girls tour, except worse in every way. It's the same crappy songs, except now sung by middle aged moms, like a bunch of drunk secretaries on karaoke night. They should have at least made it better than the original. I'm not sure if it will help to have Victoria give me a blowjob before the show, but my gosh, we've got to try something!
I take it the Daily Mail isn’t exactly in love with the new version of the Spice Girls, as they pretty much call them old and withered in their review of the first stop on their reunion concert, two nights ago in Vancouver.
As they burst on stage singing Spice Up Your Life in their retro outfits, it could have been 1997 all over again.
Provided, that is, that you closed your eyes.
Time has had a dramatic effect on the Spice Girls formerly known as Posh, Ginger, Baby, Sporty and Scary.
In the years since they split, there have been three husbands, seven children and one divorce - not to mention surgical enhancements.
And while most of us have put on a few pounds in the past ten years, Victoria Beckham, Geri Halliwell and Melanie Chisholm are a mere shadow of their former selves.
I'm not entirely sure which is which, except for Victoria because I always thought her uppity ass was hot. And I would tear up the one who wears the Union Jack dress too. I was actually gonna go to this but then at the last minute I remembered I wasn’t gay.
The Daily Mail says today that Victoria Beckham may have had her implants removed. Oh, I know, I couldn't believe it either.
The Spice Girl stepped out at a television studio in Los Angeles this week looking much less perky in a certain area. Her once gravity-defying assets had moved in a direction more befitting to a 33-year-old mother of three.
This was in marked contrast to a year ago, when she was almost bursting out of a very similar dress in New York. Victoria was once forced to admit she had had breast implants in a court document for a libel trial.
Last night, her spokesman said: "I would say she is not wearing the push-up bra she normally wears, but I have not seen the pictures and I have no idea."
The first two pictures below are from September Spice of last year, the next three are from Yesterday Spice. I wonder if I keep writing like This Spice someone will realize how Dumb Spice this cutesy little gimmick is, especially since all I care about is seeing some hot foreign Vagina Spice.
The reunion that no one has been asking for was finally officially announced yesterday in London. The Daily Mail says:
Seven years after splitting up, the Spice Girls have announced a worldwide comeback spectacular. The girl band will kick off a world tour in America. The five - now all in their thirties - will start on 7 December in Los Angeles. The group, including Victoria Beckham, Melanie Brown, Melanie Chisholm, Geri Halliwell and Emma Bunton fell straight back in sync, striking familiar poses for the world's media. The reunion tour, which is set to hit London on December 15 and take in Madrid, Koln, Las Vegas, Sydney, Cape Town and Buenos Aires among others will certainly be lucrative for the Spices. They are expected to pocket about 20 million dollars each.
Rawr! 5 moms in their thirties, lip synching badly to songs that sucked ten years ago and wearing ill-fitting, age-inappropriate costumes! That shit sounds hot! It'll be like some secretaries went to karaoke night, except it'll cost me 100 dollars! Done and done, baby!
