12.30.2009 the top 100 stories of 2009 (51-100)

All the dumb websites and magazines and TV shows do lists at the end of the year, counting down and ranking everything you can imagine, and they’re all subjective and poorly thought out and painful to read. But nothing else is going on this time of year, and so here we go.

100. JASMINE FIORE WAS MURDERED - by her husband, who was a contestant on the VH1 show ‘Megan Wants a Millionaire’. He pulled out her teeth, cut off her fingers and threw her body in a dumpster. So at least he wasn’t a litterbug. (August 15th)

99. MICHAEL JACKSON DIED - This one should probably be higher on the list but fuck that dude. He was a pedophile and his music sucked. Good riddance weirdo. (June 25th)

98. SUSAN BOYLE IS AN OVERNIGHT STAR - Does it bother anyone that she can’t really sing? After the first 5 lines on her famous ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ appearance her voice completely went to hell. What do you, got asthma or somethin? (April 11th)

97. LINDSAY LOHAN SUCKS - The reviews for the debut of her fashion line could have been worse, but only if they included a bunch of racist name calling for some reason. (October 4th)

96. BRITNEY SPEARS IS STACKED - Britney wore a see-thru t-shirt while in Australia for her ‘Circus’ tour. It maybe wasn’t as newsworthy as Michael Jackson dying, but what can I say, I just really love looking at girls’ tits. (November 5th)

22 photos in gallery >

12.21.2009 monday afternoon headlines

WILL FERREL - appeared in a wedding announcement on Sunday in the New York Times. The guy getting married is a production assistant on Wills new movie. Will is in the picture because he declares Right of Prima Nocta if anyone on his set gets married. (ny daily news)

AVATAR - finished the weekend with an opening gross of $77M in the US and $165M overseas for a weekend total of $242M, exceeding expectations thanks to positive reviews and word of mouth. Also getting rave reviews is the guacamole I made for tonight’s party. (variety)

CARRIE UNDERWOOD - is engaged to Mike Fisher of the NHLs Ottawa Senators. The pair are a dream come true for black comedians who like to talk about how white people dance at weddings. (us magazine)

TARA REID - Is in this months Playboy of course and her full shoot is up on their website, but two more leaked pics start here. Did the photographer have intimacy issues? Is he shy or something? Move closer you jackass. (playboy cyber club)

12.18.2009 tara reid in playboy

This is apparently the only website in America that Playboy reads other than their own, because I get yelled at every time I post their pictures even though this is the internet and anyone can find anything at anytime. Here’s a video of Spock singing about Hobbits. Neither of those things even fukcing exist, and yet that’s a video of them together, so you can sure as hell find pictures from the most famous magazine in the world.

Point being, the January issue with Tara Reid is now out, and the Playboy website (NSFW) will have her entire pictorial starting Monday, but until then there are two low-quality magazine scans here and here.

The January issue is also the one with the 2009 Playmate review and voting for Playmate of the Year, so everyone should go vote (NSFW) for my beloved Kimberly Phillips.

12.14.2009 tara reid does playboy

The Sun has gotten the first look at Tara Reids Playboy cover, as well as a glimpse into the worlds most poorly thought out fake excuse.

She was left with unsightly scars following botched surgery but after a tidy up, Tara is now confident with how she looks.
“I got it fixed and now I’m OK, and I want people to know that I’m OK,” she explained in a recent interview.
“I’ve been OK now for the last five or six years but people only show old pictures which is so unfair and that’s part of the reason why I did the Playboy shoot - to show the world this is me and this is what I look like.”

When she says “old pictures”, Tara is referring to (NSFW) these. From 2004, when her dress slipped off her shoulder revealing the implants her surgeon put in while wearing mittens and balancing on a ball. But this picture is from July, and she looks like hell there too. When you get lipo then regain the weight, your skin gets those ripples or can hang loose. It that July picture she sort of looks like a penis. She’ll no doubt look amazing in Playboy, but the same amount of photoshopping could have rounded off her legs and made her look like a penis in sunglasses, as if it were an ad for condoms or a really terrible PSA.

NAKED UPDATE - now with her Playboy pics, starting here.

47 photos in gallery >

Tags: playboy, tara reid |

51 Comments

10.13.2009 who will get the playboy cover?

Tara Reid made news last week when she stripped down (“ALL THE WAY” down according to Fox News and their caps lock key) for Playboys December issue, but rumor is that ‘Real Housewives of New York’ star Kelly Bensimon is also set to appear naked in that same issue. This could be a problem for Playboy, because it means 2 celebrities but only 1 cover. So how will they decide who gets it? Oh gee I wonder. I’m not saying some editor at Playboy went out of his way to arrange a series of blowjobs for himself, but I am saying I wish I had thought of that first.

(way more bikini pics of Kelly and Tara over here. hq jump here. source = inf daily and splash news online)

45 photos in gallery >

Tags: bikini, boobs, kelly bensimon, tara reid |

98 Comments

10.12.2009 tara reid is not bad

Just last week Tara Reid posed naked for an upcoming issue of Playboy, and this weekend she pranced around Santa Monica in a bikini top and a wristband she used for shorts. If the Playboy computer wizardry can do something about her stomach, it’s possible this shoot could be kind of hot. Or they could just focus on her breasts. Huge tits make up for almost any shortcoming. A girl with big tits could rob me with a box cutter to my throat, and not only would I give her all my money, I would probably start jacking off.