Tara Reid Is Not Dead

By Lex August 15, 2014 @ 9:54 AM

Tara Reid Posts Bikini Photos To Twitter
Every few months Tara Reid makes a Sharknado movie or posts an ungainly photo of herself to Twitter so that her parents don’t have to speed dial the coroner to go take a peek in her apartment. It’s really more of a social service than a means to garner attention. Tara’s proof of life photos tend to be of her in a bikini looking like she’s just gave birth in the storage room of a third world bar. There are many reasons to admire Tara Reid. They all escape me at the moment.

Photo Credit: Tara Reid/Twitter

Tara Reid In A Bikini In Australia

By Lex April 09, 2014 @ 12:27 PM

Tara Reid In A Bikini At The Beach In Australia
Whenever I see Tara Reid in a bikini, the thought always comes to mind, wow, I can’t believe she’s still alive. I have friends serving overseas or working in dangerous domestic professions or those afflicted with potentially dangerous medical conditions, but it’s always Tara Reid that I just assume has fallen off a booze cruise and been eaten very slowly by millions of krill. This is why Tara sends out Twitter pictures of herself in bikinis once a month. She’s not trying to show off the results of her cardboard and packing glue diet, she just wants to make sure people aren’t packing up boxes at her apartment and talking about her in the past tense. I’m still alive! Don’t let Jedward hork my shit!

Photo Credit: Tara Reid/Twitter

Tara Reid Posts Bikini Photos To Twitter

By Lex March 24, 2014 @ 12:44 PM

Tara Reid In A White Bikini At The Beach

Photo Credit: Tara Reid/Twitter

Charity Worker Found Not Guilty of Glassing Tara Reid

By Lex December 13, 2013 @ 4:40 PM

Tara Reid Hosts A Party At Harrah's In Atlantic City

For some reason, a jury in London took the word of a sobbing charity worker over that of Tara Reid in a case involving a nightclub fight where Tara told the court that this other woman went ‘psycho like Naomi Campbell’ on her after the two exchanged insults. While everyone appreciated Tara’s appropriate use of simile, nobody could possibly believe that Tara was the less drunk of the two combatants. Tara had the woman arrested claiming she smashed a cocktail glass across her face in the nightclub, causing Tara to have a corneal abrasion, a claim Tara herself undermined when she pointed to her crotch to show where her cornea got scratched. All in all,the Brits agreed that justice had been served and that it was high time to send more drunken British twats to America as payback.

Tara Reid in A Bikini

By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 6:31 PM

Tara Reid In A Blue Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I’m not sure who’s been punching Tara Reid in the stomach, but that shit’s got to stop. She’s a lady. If Apollo had seen Rocky busting up Tara’s gut, he would’ve arranged a last minute change of challengers. Still, there’s something to be said for Tara’s accomplishment of remaining upright against a 5mph coastal headwind. Plus, you can’t even see her vagina so I assume she’s taking her mom’s advice to check her crotch in the mirror before she walks out the door. I’m going to go ahead and call this a comeback for Tara Reid.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN

Harrah’s Scored Tara Reid for Their Halloween Party

By Lex October 28, 2013 @ 12:33 PM

Tara Reid Hosts A Party At Harrah's In Atlantic City
You can’t get much more lowest common denominator than having Tara Reid host your Halloween Party. That’s when you know the first five hundred girls on your list were previously booked, the last being Tanning Mom hosting a Halloween party at a Newark areas Taco Bell where every Halloween they let you tour the kitchen. Tara Reid doesn’t even get drunk and fall down anymore and unless you’re gazing at her recent medical testing reports, she’s not the least bit spooky. Where’s Michael Myers when you need him?

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI