Charlie Sheen lives in a mansion with several decent-looking female porn stars that he rotates in and out as he sees fit, while he collects paychecks on a 100-episode deal for Anger Management, despite the fact that he never even deserved it in the first place after his hilariously shameless public meltdown that included rants against his ex-showrunner and a standup comedy tour that proved he’s not funny. He’s basically living the American Dream.
It also shouldn’t really surprise anyone that on top of that, he never even graduated high school, but Jay Leno finally took care of that on the Tonight Show, so the guy who shouldn’t even be working in Hollywood is now at least qualified to work at McDonald’s.
Charlie Sheen was on The Tonight Show on Wednesday to promote his new film, Scary Movie 5, in theaters today, and the conversation quickly turned to his strange friendship with Lindsay Lohan. Sheen helped Lohan out last year by loaning her six figures to pay her back taxes, because that’s the kind of thing a 47-year old man does for a 26-year girl with no strings attached.
But the big question for Sheen, who co-stars with Lohan in Scary Movie 5, was whether or not Lohan behaved herself on the set of his show, Anger Management, on which she appears in an upcoming episode. The answer, of course, is no. Hell no. He basically accused her of hijacking the show and stealing more jewelry. In fact, he might as well have just accused her of giving him herpes. Sure, we’d laugh and say, “Yeah, she gave you herpes” but hey, it was worth a shot.