Angelina Jolie is official

Angelina Jolie was told yesterday that an Ethiopian judge ruled she is the legal guardian of baby daughter Zahara. Jolie was concerned she may lose custody of the daughter she adopted in June when the alleged mother of the little girl – who it was said had died of AIDS – came forward to thank Jolie for giving her child a better life. Under Ethiopian law, the adoption papers needed to be refiled because details given about the baby’s mother were incorrect. But Judge Dadnachew Tesfaye, who investigated the case, has declared Jolie did nothing wrong and the baby in now legally hers. He said:

“The adoption is legal and still stands. The evidence presented to the court shows the child was an orphan. That is sufficient.”

I think I read somewhere that every country but the United States of America is mostly jungle ghost warriors with hats made from crocodile heads, and they eat rocks and scorpion meat, so it’s kinda reasonable that the tribal elders thought Wakka Wakkas mom was dead. I think other countries have spells where they look dead. They slow their hearts down by licking magic frogs or something. So they can travel to the spirit world, I think. Oh my God, which totally reminds me, Gelsons was out of Dom Perignon 88 the other day and the guy said I should just get 89. What am I, a fuckin caveman!