BRITNEY SPEARS IS SMART. WAIT, WHAT

One of the few clauses that benefits Kevin Federline in the prenuptial agreement signed before marrying Britney Spears states that he alone gets all earnings from any photographs sold of their children, and considering the public has yet to get a look at Jayden James – their second son who was born in September – Kevin is sitting on a small fortune.  At least he would be, except Britney is now shopping pictures of the new baby for free.  WWD says:

Not only is Spears newly K-Fed-free, she is now offering photos of her second son, Jayden James, born in September — and gratis for the right magazine. Sources say Spears has sidestepped her usual go-to venue, People, which ran the first photos of the then-happy family in December. Instead, she's gunning for the prestige of a monthly or bimonthly, hoping to rehabilitate her flagging image in the TomKat/Vanity Fair mold.

Word is the final straw came this weekend after Britney waited at a restaurant (looking like this – BAM!) for Kevin, who never showed because he was out spending her money in a club with his idiot friends.  But instead of picturing that, picture Kevin poking a bear, because it's pretty much the same thing.  Now Britney's pissed.  It's actually kinda hot.  The only way she could own this jackass any more is if she rode up on a horse and threw a trident so it stabbed him in the chest.