The Daily Mail and OK Magazine say that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are planning a Christmas wedding in a small village outside Johannesburg, South Africa. The Mail says:
"They are treating their marriage like a spiritual affirmation and don't need big Hollywood glitz like Tom Cruise had in Italy." The ceremony will include traditional African music and will be "simple and elegant", a friend of the couple told US magazine OK! "They are so much in love. Brad and Angelina have waited a long time for this chapter in their lives to unfold."
Guests are expected to include Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie, George Clooney and new James Bond Daniel Craig, as well as Oprah Winfrey, who suggested the African village where the ceremony may be held.
An insider said: "Ange is grateful to have a big sister in Oprah, a person who understands her fears of commitment but is also a kindred spirit."
God it never lets up with this chick. Africa Africa Africa. Yeah, I get Angie, you're better than I am. You want to help. But Brad just wants to fuck you. That's why he never did this stuff before. So stop dragging him all over the globe to the worst places on earth every time theres a problem like you're the superfriends. The dude is crossing rivers of fire and fighting flying dragons just to prove himself to you, would it really kill you to give him a weekend at Pebble Beach, in a town where the "just married" limousines are actual cars and not just the biggest turtle.
This divorce is going to be awesome.
Let’s all sing Kum Ba Yah!
Brad Pitt is so pussywhipped he gives submissives a bad name.
I assume annulling this marriage won’t be too difficult. In typical African fashion, Brad and the local head chieftain will stone Angelina to death around a circle of fire and traditional guava shots.
He said in Esquire a few months back that they would never get married until “all people in the United States (i.e., gays) could also do the same,” or some stupid shit like that. So much for that idea.
Angelina’s pussy must sweat beer and telecast monday night football, or something. This is the only reason I can think of that a guy like Brad - who could be knee deep in all the hot ass he wants - would follow her to the ugliest places in the world. I’d think that maybe he was getting some righteous 3 way action with her, but I strugle to think of where they could find a third, on a continent that has the highest rate of AIDS in the world. I know Brad managed to film his parts of ‘Babel’ while in Africa, but this shit is getting old. He needs to work so Anglina can buy more orphans to fill out her charm bracelet.
Ang: “Let’s have an affirmation of our love in an African village with dolphins and unicorns and Oprah!”…. Brad: “Will you let me see you pussey?”…. Ang: “Of course, in the eyes of Gaia we will be one!” … Brad: “OK, lets do it!”
Three comments:
1. Could Oprah be any other kind of sister than “big”?
2. You know its only a matter of time before Angie cracks and starts putting on blackface, right?
3. If they didn’t need “big Hollywood glitz” then they would have gotten hitched already by some tour guide/justice of the peace. Saying they don’t want attention and then inviting Oprah, Madonna and George Clooney is like telling your friend you’re not hungry while chewing on his left big toe. (Why the left big toe? Cause that’s where all the nutrients are, that’s why.)
COME ON ITS BRAD PITT! fuckin guy could be bangin chicks just as hot as angelina with 1/10 the hassle…………Seriously he could be bangin away on european models.
I went to budapest and it was retarded how many hot girls are their. Lots easily as hot as angelina……….for 50$ :)
Brad is such a dumbfuck.
As is so often the case, Jon Stewart sys it the best: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSjwG5LL1Q0
Brendon’s right, Brad totally morphed into Mr. Third World Savior so that he could bang the shit out of Angelina. He has not ONE OUNCE of originality. This is nothing new. He does this with every chick he’s with.
Brad is probably mentally deranged at this point, because every time he says, “WTF am I doing this for?” Angie opens up her magic pussy of love, sunshine and unicorns and totally messes with his head(s).
mmmmm…unicorn pussy. *furious masturbation*
She can not be that good of a lay to go through all that bullshit…Doctress Leisa is right
Oh come on………who has pretended to be something their not to get inside a chick?
So far ive been a police officer, lawyer, trust fund baby, architect and deep sea diver. So fellow men let not judge Brad cause were all guilty of it!
MrFadedGlory, that vid was AWESOME. Angie, if you want more people to care about your cause, all you need do is fuck them. Can I go first ahead of Jon? I’ll bring the strap on!
I wager that TomKat will fail sooner than this, but that is only because they were married sooner.
And yes, you all can watch.
Brad looks like Marvin the Martian in that picture. And why are you wearing a winter hat with some fake stuffing in it, when you’re in Africa. Especially when apparently Angie is tough enough to manage without.