By brendon March 01, 2007 @ 11:21 AM

Alicia Keys – last night on stage with John Mayer in New York to sing "Gravity" – has the biggest ass I've ever seen.  Honest to god, I think she might be a centaur.


(82) Comments

  1. avatar
    03/01/2007 11:38

    so funny

  2. avatar
    Huge Taco Man 03/01/2007 11:42

    That is quite unattractive. Alicia Keys’ ass is also not so hot.

  3. avatar
    Alan 03/01/2007 11:43

    What’s she singing? Anyone have this on YouTube, etc?

  4. avatar
    Juan 03/01/2007 11:43

    I’d hit it. Not really, but I kind of feel obliged to write that every time.

  5. avatar
    Juan 03/01/2007 11:45

    OK, here’s a better one. Little known fact: Alicia Keys’ butt was used as the model for Rasputia in “Norbit.”

  6. avatar
    Coregasm 03/01/2007 11:46

    I actually just tossed all of the tables in my house. I’m now going strictly with the ever-popular Alicia Keys’ “Ass Ledge” line of tables. Yeah, they’re unattractive and slightly protruding but hey, I’m a brand whore.

  7. avatar
    James01 03/01/2007 11:53

    umm..do you have any other photos?

  8. avatar
    veryberry 03/01/2007 11:56

    isnt that just the camera angle making her ass out of proportion?

  9. avatar
    Ben 03/01/2007 11:58

    Centaur…Christ, I think he meant center as in the Javits Center.

  10. avatar
    El Fucko Face o 03/01/2007 11:59

    It’s raining pretty hard. Think I’ll seek shelter under Alicia Keys’ big fat ass until it stops, unless of course there’s a bear under there. Then again, it’s big enough for both of us.

  11. avatar
    Tennessee Tuxedo 03/01/2007 12:01

    Her butt is a perfect circle. British scientists use it to calibrate their instruments.

  12. avatar
    First!! 03/01/2007 12:01

    i dunno about john mayer…creepy looking dude… kinda reminds me of this guy

  13. avatar
    Chunk Norris 03/01/2007 12:04

    There are a few pros to being a bottom heavy beaut. U punch her in the face and she springs back up,,,kinda like a child punchin clown

  14. avatar
    kurb 03/01/2007 12:04

    Jeez, I can’t stand her. She thinks she is so “black”. She is freakin just as white as John Mayer. Get over it you hip-hop, R&B wanna-be poser!

  15. avatar
    zeke123 03/01/2007 12:09

    Alicia Keys is black?

    I know italian chicks who get three times as dark in the summer. Of course, those sicilian chicks are hairy beast, so maybe its not their skin.

  16. avatar
    thor 03/01/2007 12:12

    Naw, it’s not the camera angle making her ass out of proportion. It’s the sheer fecking girth of her ass making her ass out of proportion. As for Mayer, he’s obviously saying to himself: “gotta keep staring at her face, or else I’m going to be sucked into the orbit of that ass, and it’s measured in lightyears.” [insert 'black hole' or 'uranus' joke here]

  17. avatar
    MrFadedGlory 03/01/2007 12:14

    I bet Mayer hit that.

  18. avatar
    kurb 03/01/2007 12:16

    Mayer kinda reminds me of the singing skeletons in the Grateful Day “Touch of Grey” video. God he sucks.

  19. avatar
    Shaft 03/01/2007 12:18

    #1.WTF!?! “centaur”??? Putting aside the fact that this is ONE picture, at a weird angle, and half her ass is in the dark, how do you come up with centaur?? her ass is finer than 100% of the skinnny malnutritioned women you have on this site.

  20. avatar
    Brilluminati 03/01/2007 12:20

    More pics are here:


    There’s a video as well, but no closeups.

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