FUR-GIE IS A DAMN LUSH

The Mirror UK says that Fergie was banned from boarding a Virgin Atlantic flight out of Los Angeles this week because she was so drunk, it was decided she was in no shape to fly.  Not fly the plane, mind you, but too drunk to sit in a chair.  She was not allowed to board the plane and the flight was delayed for an hour while her luggage was removed.  The Mirror says:

The singer, 31, was about to fly from Los Angeles to Britain with bandmates when airline staff saw she was slurring her words and could hardly stand.  Fergie, who has battled booze and drugs, drunkenly raged at them and had to be pulled away by friends.  One witness said: "She was falling all over the place and had to be supported. She was in no state to fly.  But when she was prevented from boarding she couldn't believe it.  She was drunkenly ranting at staff but could barely string a sentence together. It was very embarrassing."

This is why all my planes have trap doors.  For this and for my arms deals.  Sometimes when were having a meeting on my plane and one of the shady characters says my plans are too crazy and he wants out, I say, okay, you want out, you got it.  Then I hit a button under my desk and it turns out he was standing on the trap door.  Then I say, anyone else want out?  Another cool trick is to enter the fancy dinner party with all the rich people and one of my henchmen empties an entire clip from his machine gun, then I walk in behind him, put out my cigarette and say, "I see I have your attention."    I'm sinister!