LINDSAY LOHAN IS PISSED

Lindsay Lohans dad, Michael Lohan, was released two weeks ago after spending 20 months in jail for drunk driving. And now that he's out, he claims to have found religion and is anxious to reconcile with Lindsay and his family.  Lindsay, on the other hand…

"You still haven't changed. Don't go near my mother ever again."

Michael Lohan blames most of his problems with Lindsay on Paul Sullivan, Lindsay’s uncle, the brother of Lindsay’s mom.  Sullivan has been convicted and is about to be sentenced for fraud after obtaining “a $646,000 loan from the Small Business Administration by claiming his Ropa Group Corp. had lost substantial business after 9/11. In October, Sullivan was also charged with obstruction of justice.”  Michael Lohan essentially says Sullivan has poisoned Lindsay against him but so far Lindsay isn’t buying it.  Page Six says:

"Michael had hoped to patch things up with his daughter. But after talking to her dad, 'Lindsay called her mother [Dina] and told her to be careful and to take care of her brother and sister,' said our source."

Jesus, was there anyone in this story who wasn't drunk or in jail.  No wonder this bitch is crazy.  This would make a pretty good movie.  "In a world gone mad … something something something … one man will risk everything for love".  And then at some point I say, "eat my fists" and punch out a bad guy.  For love.  As was previously implied.