TOM CRUISE IS NUTS, TINY

Star magazine, via Celebitchy, says that Tom Cruise is planning to build a … wait for it … wait for it … a 10 million dollar underground bunker in Colorado to prepare for the arrival of Xenu, his alien god who is at the heart of scientology.  Star says:

Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado, mansion, a source tells Star! Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galactic ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.

I'm pretty sure that when someone is this dumb, they can be declared legally dead.  So, it's with great sadness that I report the passing of Tom Cruise: Actor, Father, Beloved Husband.  The End.