Remember this jackass? From this post? And remember wondering how long it would be before Lindsay F'd him. Oh hey guess what…
Lindsay Lohan stands accused of destroying the marriage of a rock star she was reported to have romanced in rehab. Lohan was linked with Dead Stays Alive frontman Tony Allen earlier this month after they were both patients at the Cirque Lodge Clinic in Utah. Now Allen's wife Stephanie has filed for divorce, citing reports of his infidelity with Lohan. Court documents, obtained by British newspaper News of the World, claim Allen's "habitual drug use" and "conduct and relationship with another woman" were to blame for the split. The 52-page document includes press cuttings of the reports of his fling with Lohan. Stephanie Allen is quoted saying, "After my husband's return from rehabilitation I was bombarded with calls alerting me to the fact that my husband's conduct with another woman was on the internet and in gossip magazines."
They should make some kind of plaque and carve "Lindsay Lohan is fucking someone right now" and send it to every rehab in the country. And the manager has to keep it in his office, so if he sits down for a minute to do paperwork or whatever, it's a reminder that he needs to get back up and check on Lindsay and then remove the penis from her mouth. ("large box", tee-hee, tee-hee!)
UPDATE - Thanks to Brian and his linking prowess, it turns out the chick this dude was married to is worth 1.5 billion dollars. So he lost 1.5 billion dollars, but he does have some kick ass headbands, so, still, awesome.
FIST!ing Lindsay - another dream come true!
Still would fuck her 10 ways at once.
I miss all the pink.
You can get coke and sperm Fed-Ex delivered these days? Wonders will never cease.
Or is that just the paperwork relating to this divorce case?
this chick has coke whore written all over her… oh wait
Ah, Lindsay, ma femme fatale, pourquoi pas moi?
Sure cure for smoking: "Here, LiLo, puff on my White Owl."
Oh, she wasn't in rehab for a smoking addiction? It was drugs and alcohol? Well, she can still puff on my "white owl." It might not cure her, but it couldn't hurt.
*in case this ribald reference is too dated, please subtitute "Cohiba" for "White Owl." It just doesn't sound as good.
Man, when she said she was quitting acting and all the rest, she wasn't fuckin' around. Already living in a box on the street? I think her tits may be too big for that box.
IT'S ABOUT TIME THIS WHORE HIT THE HEADLINES AGAIN. SHE COULD BE COMPLETELY HOPPED UP ON ANYTHING SHE WANTS, AND I'D STILL JUMP IN HER CAR, CHASE HER ASSISTANT AND SLAM THE HELL OUT OF THE WEBBING BETWEEN HER TOES WITH MY SWEET MEAT. I'D PART HER MEAT-CURTAINS WITH MY MASSIVE COCK AND LEAVE HER COOCH LOOKING LIKE A SPIDER WEB.
Her tits look fuckalicious! Man alive I would like to do the hibbity-dibbity with her.
Damn, I thought she might have been run over by that oncoming truck. nope.
JackOften on a Lindsay post…this is my favorite Monday in weeks.
If only a judge would order her cooter sewn shut, the world would be a less adulterous, STD-infected place.
I once did the hibbity-dibbity at a dance contest. I got Honrable Mention. Like always!
How many condoms on would be considered safe to fuck her?
Special delivery for Ms. Lohan: It seems to be a pack of condolence notes over the loss of your career. Oh, and that last one is another offer from Hef - about half what it was last year at this time.
Pic #2:
LiLo and gal pal: "Whut r U loserz lookin' at?"
Paparrazi Pete: "A ho and an emo."
Paparrazi Paul: "An old, used-up box…and a Fex-Ex package."
Paparrazi Phil: "Your tits."
^FED Ex, dammit. But you get my drift.
No one is safe, Nietzsche…besides, aren't you terribly repulsed by pleasures of the flesh? What are you, ein ubermensch or ein maus?
Is it wrong that the fact that she's obviously a drugged up, dirty, two-bit whore makes me want her more?
How can a ankle bracelet tell if she is sniffing coke……which is her drug of choice.