THEYRE ALL WHORES

Damn, it seems like every single good story in the news right now is a pack of filthy lies.  Why must my simple evening of TV turn into a date with deception.  It starts with People magazine, who says that investigators are wondering about Ingrid Marie Rivera, who last week became Miss Puerto Rico, despite her claims that someone tried to sabotage her night by pepper-spraying her gowns.  People says:

Beating 29 rivals, Rivera took home the crown and the chance to vie in the Miss Universe pageant. Throughout the competition, Rivera was composed while appearing before the cameras and panel of judges.But once off-camera, she was forced to shed her clothes and apply ice bags to her face and body, which twice swelled and broke out in hives.

Investigators wonder how she could be so composed one minute, then an itchy mess the next.  As for Hulk Hogan, the St Petersburg Times quotes an attorney who says the pending divorce between Hulk and Linda Hogan may simply be a way to protect their assets in case they are sued after their son Nick was in a car crash that left one man in a coma:

In the divorce, Linda is asking for half of all assets, including Hulks Bel Air mansion and Clearwater Beach home with combined assessed values topping $7.9-million … a divorce could be one step the Hogans could take to try to protect assets … because it could cut Hogan's assets in half.

And finally, Marie Osmond may have faked her famous fainting spell on DWTS:

Sources on the set of "Dancing With the Stars" say that Marie Osmond's fainting spell was scripted — to the point where she had a writer just off camera feeding her lines when she stood up!Marie has a writer on set at all times, prompting her with witty conversation. One on-set source says he was in position when Marie went down — and didn't miss a beat.

I have no formal dance training, but it goes without saying that gasping for air and falling down are the keys to victory in a dance competition, which is why Marie was so wise to do it.  The judges can't help but be wowed by the way she flopped to the ground then laid there motionless.  Look at her go!!!  She may break the record!!!