By brendon December 20, 2007 @ 1:36 PM

MSNBC says that Ashlee Simpson is pissed today because Jamie Lynn Spears stole the spotlight from her yesterday. Wait, what?

After spending the last year working on a new album, Ashlee’s debut video was set to release to big fanfare.
Unfortunately, the spotlight just wasn’t meant to be for Simpson, thanks to the news that Jamie Lynn Spears is with child.
“Ashlee can’t believe this happened. She’s so disappointed,” said a source.
“Her sister, Jessica, grew up in the shadow of Britney; it took years for Jess separate herself from her. How ironic that Ashlee’s big day ends up spent in the shadow of Britney’s little sister.”
“Joe Simpson doesn’t do anything by chance. This date (for the video release) was picked clearly; he expected it to be the talk of the town,” said the source. “Jamie Lynn didn’t just steal the spotlight; she sucked the oxygen out of the week. This week it’s all about her.”

Ashlee is living in a fantasy word if she thinks she would have been the headline if not for Jamie Lynn.  She's completely average in every way, at best.  It would be more exciting to just randomly dial your phone or turn your oven on and off than to watch anything with Ashlee Simpson in it.  Watching her is like sitting your chair in front of a plain beige wall and then just staring at it, except that Ashlee is way more boring.


(130) Comments

  1. MG Admirer 12/20/2007 13:41


  2. MG Admirer 12/20/2007 13:42

    AND SECOND FIST too :)

  3. Doctress Leisa 12/20/2007 13:43

    Clearly she should have been caught on video in flagrante delicto with Satan while he fucked her with an 18-inch man pole of evil. THAT would teach Jamie not to steal her thunder!

  4. returntosander 12/20/2007 13:43

    Joe Simpson is the creepiest fucker in Hollywood. He's worse than Dina Lohan.

  5. HandBanana 12/20/2007 13:44

    BUT SHE'S A BIG STAR!!!  Her daddy told her so.

    10 bucks says Lynne consulted Joe Simpson before coming out with the big news.

  6. Observer 12/20/2007 13:47

    I would fuck Ashlee six ways to Sunday.

    However….that doesn't mean she is not a fucking idiot. In fact…it almost confirms it.

  7. TengoWood 12/20/2007 13:48

    If an attention whore throws a tantrum and no one is watching…

  8. Doctress Leisa 12/20/2007 13:49

    …does it make a queef?

  9. TengoWood 12/20/2007 13:50

    Observer, almost ?

  10. Bizarrkley 12/20/2007 13:51

    I'll make her feel so much better by way of a good skull fucking.  Someone has to get their money's worth out of that nose job!

  11. Observer 12/20/2007 13:51


  12. TengoWood 12/20/2007 13:52

    Doctress, that's the other sound that will make the pack of Barbary macaques you got here hump faster and faster.

  13. Observer 12/20/2007 13:52


    Don't forget…there is a lot in it for Ashlee….but I doubt she would be smart enough to realize it.

    Did I just type "doubt"?

  14. Pennsylvania's Finest 12/20/2007 13:52

    next time Joe will know to impregnate his daughter BEFORE the release of her album

  15. Doctress Leisa 12/20/2007 13:53

    Those fucking monkeys

  16. Observer 12/20/2007 13:53

    I hope Ashlee is a screamer like Zoey (Jaime).

  17. Dirty Hairy 12/20/2007 13:54

    girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's… girl you know it's…

  18. DB's Treasure 12/20/2007 13:54

    Whores…..all whores. It actually makes me sick with rage. Fuck Ashlee and Lynn Spears. They both deserve the most dissapointment in their lives.

    "I make millions of unearned dollars, but I'll sit here and bitch cause I am not in the spotlight!"

    Someone needs to blowup California.

  19. Diremutt 12/20/2007 13:55

    Confused and dissoriented, Ashley did a hoe-down.

  20. Doctress Leisa 12/20/2007 13:57

    Someone needs to blowup California

    Just give the sane here fair warning. 

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