MORE HIGHLIGHTS

One of the most amazing things in all this is the reports that Britney hasn't slept since Saturday, but there's nothing but highlights in this thing. Here's some stuff from all over: The very earliest report on this came last night at around 1045pm, when X17 reported that Britney had attempted suicide. Other sources have said that is not true, but something sure as hell had to happen for this to all come down in the middle of the night on a Wednesday. Keep in mind that NO ONE is nicer to Britney than X17. If they something bad about her, it's not because they're making it up. TMZ says, "the media frenzy surrounding Britney's drama has caused cops to speak in code over the police radio. Britney's code name is 'The Package.' " Coincidentally, that was my nickname in high school. Get it? It's a joke. I'm inferring that I have a larger than normal penis, and then going on to imply that this was well known in my formative years. Get it? You see, the joke began when I read that Britneys code name was "the package"…People magazine says that last nights actions were brought on because, "She was driving around her neighborhood like a mad-woman," says a Spears family source. "Britney has been prescribed medication which she refuses to take. This is just another sad, sad evening."TMZ says, when, "Britney's psychiatrist told her she was going to the hospital. Her response was, 'Is something wrong?' She was not resistant. She made hot chocolate and waited before paramedics arrived and placed her on a gurney." Lazy bitch. Can't you even roll your fat ass onto the gurney by yourself. Jesus, how much hot chocolate did you drink. Not everything is an excuse to guzzle chocolate by the way, fatty. They probably dressed everyone up like those talking M&Ms. "Hi Britney! Would you like to follow us on an adventure?" "Yes. Yes I would like that."