JAY Z AND BUOYANCY ARE GETTING MARRIED

I don’t know why the "Buoyancy" nickname for Beyonce never caught on.  Get it?  Because she has a big ass.  And would seemingly float in water because of it.  Aw screw you people.  The New York Daily News says today that, after five years of dating, Beyonce and Jay Z may be getting married.  The two applied for a marriage license yesterday in Westchester County’s Scarsdale Village.

The pair reportedly got the license yesterday morning, which means the earliest they could get hitched is Wednesday. Otherwise, it's good for 60 days anywhere in New York State.A spokeswoman for Beyoncé refused to comment, and Jay-Z's rep couldn't be reached.

Beyonce sounds like a real trooper considering all the rumors that Jay slapped her around and cheated with Rihanna.  But still, it's touching to see two people express their love like this.  I'm also looking for a long term relationship, or possibly just someone to blow me in my car.  I'm more concerned about inner beauty than superficial beauty, unless you're unattractive or overweight, in which case I very much am concerned about superficial beauty.  To recap, if you’re a hot chick and would like to blow me in a car and then leave, feel free to go for it.