MARK WAHLBERG SUCKS

By brendon June 17, 2008 @ 8:55 AM

I hate Mark Wahlberg and his wooden line reads and the way he furrows his stupid brow and tries to look intense but just looks confused, like a caveman poking a turtle with a stick, so obviously it's reason to celebrate as "the Happening" marks its place in history as one of the worst things ever filmed.  M Night Shyamalan gets more pretentious every single movie, this time even making commercials with him just sitting there talking.  At this point he could make a movie about the Civil War and he would cast himself as Abraham Lincoln.  Despite all this Mark Wahlberg still had the nerve to talk shit about the Oceans 11 movies:

Is it true you turned down the chance to be in the Ocean's films?
Yeah – and it was well worth it! The second one sucked! People tell George Clooney it's great, but we all know it sucked. I made two bad movies instead – Planet Of The Apes and The Truth About Charlie – but doing that was better than sitting with Brad and George, telling the press how great everybody is! "We were in Europe, George was funny, then we had some wine…" – that's not for me. I do love those guys, but I had to step out on my own.

Did you know that M. Nights real name is Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan.  When you say it out loud it doesn’t even sound like an actual name.  It sounds like a spell.  I heard that if you say it out loud three times you can turn someone into a bunny.



wwtdd

(68) Comments

  1. Dirty Hairy 06/17/2008 09:01

    Mmm…good vibrations!

  2. Dirty Hairy 06/17/2008 09:02

    John Cena would kick Marky Mark's ass.

  3. Dirty Hairy 06/17/2008 09:03

    BTK, who's the tranny on the left right in the middle?

  4. Lightdragon 06/17/2008 09:05

    dunno DH and i dunno not care.

  5. paul 06/17/2008 09:08

    Making a movie in the first place is pretentious. 

    "You need 200 million dollars? Is it for cancer research or trying to feed some hungry kids or something?"

    "No!  I got this really cool idea about a giant monster that just sits there and plays with himself all day and how humans have to stop it before it gets off and cums on the Statue of Liberty"

    "Okay, here you go"

  6. THE O.G. HATER 06/17/2008 09:08

    Manoj-AYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Twa! Giggity Goo.

  7. ATLiens 06/17/2008 09:09

    HAHAHA…. Marky Mark only made 2 bad movies?  Really?

    Even though FEAR is a fuckin classic!

  8. Will 06/17/2008 09:10

    Oh no!   Zoey D.  looks like complete shit.  WTF happened to her?  Must be drugs.  I'd use drugs if I had to act in an M Night Shyamalan movie.

  9. ham sandwich 06/17/2008 09:12

    He got one thing right. The oceans movies blew. George Clooney is the all time biggest box office loser. He only does well when he is in movies with other big stars (J-Lo, Brad Pitt, Damon, etc.) None of those tools was any where as cool as the original Oceans 11. Those guys had real talent.

  10. Silverback 06/17/2008 09:12

    Wahlberg is hopeless, but ragging on "George and Brad" shows some spunk. I'm there for a Planet of the Apes sequel if they can get Helena Bonham Carter back into the monkey suit.

  11. Dan Daoust 06/17/2008 09:13

    Well, to be fair, Ocean's 12 really was the worst piece of shit movie ever made.  There's really no actor who should have to feel bad about saying so.

  12. Jessica_Fangirl 06/17/2008 09:13

    I swear to you her eyes during the entire movie have pupils the size of pinheads. She’s totally on meth or speed or something the entire film.

    Nice to know Marky Mark is just as much a big headed ego freak as M. Night with just as little reason.

  13. leftnutofjesus 06/17/2008 09:14

    he forgot to mention the third movie he was in that sucked.  the happening

    i paid for me and the woman to see it sunday when i should've just bought more reefer.

    then, they had leguizamo on a monday morning show talking about how it was a "very well shot B-movie."

    someone should've told me it was supposed to be a b movie. i woulda never paid to see it. 

    wahlberg and leguizamo.  b-movie cocksucks.  go me. 

  14. Jill 06/17/2008 09:16

    Don't waste your money on this piece of junk movie. I'm loathing my roommate more and more for dragging me off tho the movie theater only to shit out ten bucks. The beginning was alright. There was a lot of suicide that was pretty graphic. But that's it. Just a little shock factor to bring you into an otherwise boring and predictable plot.

  15. Mo 06/17/2008 09:16

    Dude. The second one MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AS GOOD, but it didn't SUCK. I loved the first one and the third was pretty decent. As if Marky Mark has reason to talk shit about ANYONE. AHAHAHAHA.  

  16. mrx5000 06/17/2008 09:17

    M. DAY SHAMALAMAFUCKFACE LOOKS LIKE DEAN MARTIN JR IN THAT PIC

     

    HIS MOVIES SUCK – STOP GIVING HIM MONEY TO MAKE SHIT

     

     WALLBERG SHOULD STICK TO UNDERWEAR ADS – THAT BITCH HAS TOO MUCH MAKEUP ON.  SHE SHOULD SHOW MORE TIT 

  17. dreamclaimer 06/17/2008 09:20

    Zooey Deschanel is fug. Always was, always will be. Her sis is hot tho.

  18. Brandon103 06/17/2008 09:21

    wahlberg has the epitome of a "shit eating grin"    m night shitmaker and marky mark make a good combo cute couple

  19. DB's Treasure 06/17/2008 09:22

    Wahlberg is the man. Love his acting. Wtf have you ever done but complain on your site, Brand*n? Absolutely nothing, that's what. 

     

    However, Entourage is a stream of wet farts followed but a nasty brew of beer shits. That show fucking sucks. Mark should pull outta that, too. 

  20. Mac-Daddy 06/17/2008 09:22

    Did anyone ever really think that Marky Mark was going to be a huge movie star?

    I mean..SERIOUSLY???

    You can bash this guy all you want, the fact is, he makes millions more then any poster on here, (except me, I'm loaded) and has fucked acted with hot co-stars such as:

    1. Jennifer Aniston (in her prime)
    2. Zooey De
    3. Ave Mendez
    4. Charlize Theron
    5. Heather Graham
    6. Estella Warren (when she was hot)
    7. Elizabeth Banks

    Who'd have thunk it??

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