MINI-ME’S SEX PARTNER IS MAD

Ranae Shrider is the woman who had sex with Vern Troyer in the now famous sex tape, and today she has broken her silence to say she’s furious that it got leaked.  Gee, no kidding.  Really, you didn’t want the whole world to see you get f’d by a goblin.  How surprising.  I’d be honored if my gf did that.  In fact I’d project the film onto the side of a mountain so the whole world could see a wooden toy come to life and rape my girl.  Splash News says…

Ranae Shrider has admitted she is furious that a sex tape featuring her and Austin Powers star Verne Troyer has appeared online. The 22-year-old aspiring model said about the sex tape: "Do I look like I should be smiling about this" after being spotted by the paparazzi having coffee in a Starbucks in LA. Shrider also admitted that she still lives with the 2ft 8inch star in the same apartment where the sex tape was shot. When asked when she had moved out, Shrider replied: "We still live together." Asked if she was going to profit from the release of the sex tape, Shrider said: "I don't know." Shrider claims that the home movie was stolen, and illegally distributed without her knowledge.

My gag reflex won't allow me to think about this for long, but just imagine you’re a girl, lying in bed naked and you look down and there’s a monster from a fairy tale looking up at you from between your legs, it's little tongue flicking against your clit.  I bet if you get her stoned enough, he could just crawl inside her and flail around.  I can’t be the only one who thinks this sounds more like something out of "Hostel" than it does a night of passion and intrigue.