By brendon November 21, 2008 @ 6:02 AM

Ashlee Simpson welcomed her first child last night, a son, with husband Pete wentz, and was there any doubt these retards were given give the kid an awful embarrassing name?  People says…

Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long.
"Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!" a spokesperson tells PEOPLE.

That’s right.  "Bronx Mowgli".  As in the kid from the Jungle Book.  It might as well be, "Sexually Confused Emo Give Me My Book Bag Back", but that wouldn’t cutely shorten into "BMW".  The two names are pretty much the same thing.  I know all these idiot Hollywood parents think they need to give their kid some special identity with their name, and oh, I assure you it will work.  He’ll be the most distinctive kid face down in the mud while Mike and Jack high five each other and walk away from the kid with the faggity name.


(88) Comments

  1. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 11/21/2008 06:21

    Pete Wentz always has this look on his face like he could really go for a good proper mouth fucking.

  2. Rick03 11/21/2008 06:21

    Who allowed those two to reproduce anyway?

  3. mom2ross 11/21/2008 06:22

    All I can do is shake my head and sigh…

  4. Paleomiz 11/21/2008 06:22

    Ewww, they procreated? Nothing like peeing in the gene pool

  5. mom2ross 11/21/2008 06:23

    Giving or getting, Big Smelly?  Rhetorical question, I guess…

  6. Squabbler 11/21/2008 06:23

    Victor Oliver Lance Vacuous Osterman approves of this kid's name.

  7. Mac-Daddy 11/21/2008 06:24

    Stupid is as stupid Does

  8. someoneluvsu 11/21/2008 06:24

    Singing -"Look for the bare necessities"

    The next kid will be named Queens Baloo.

  9. mom2ross 11/21/2008 06:24

    Good one, Squabbler – I was going to ask if it had been a girl, would it have been Vagina Wentz?

  10. lady garden 11/21/2008 06:24

    lets hope it looks better than it sounds

  11. SomewhatSarcastic 11/21/2008 06:26

    If I have a boy, I want to name him Sher Khan solely so I can teach him to hunt down this kid and kick his ass.

  12. Slaappy got fingerbanged 11/21/2008 06:27

    Our Emo prince and princess created a heir, ahhhh our new American pride and joy. Can't wait for People's 10 Mil offer to see this mutant.

  13. SuperB 11/21/2008 06:28

    dumb dumb dumb

  14. TengoWood Got Fingered Like Slaapy! WTF! 11/21/2008 06:29

    But he'll be known as Ben. Ben Dover.



  15. Paparazzi Sniper 11/21/2008 06:30

    Another bastard child has entered the world.

  16. TengoWood Got Fingered Like Slaapy! WTF! 11/21/2008 06:31

    If his head is as big as his dad's, they'll be able to see him from space.

  17. Evil Malcom Norris 11/21/2008 06:31

    I suppose his real name is Sergay

  18. Slaappy got fingerbanged 11/21/2008 06:32

    TW Especially how shiny that kid dome will be..

  19. succotash 11/21/2008 06:34

    Another reason why we should go through an application process to have kids.

  20. SuperB 11/21/2008 06:37

    Another reason why we should go through an application process to have kids.


    or at least a common sense test

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