Zhang Ziyi is freaky

Actress Zhang Ziyi (‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’, ‘Rush Hour 2′) was photographed topless on a beach in St. Barts while her billionaire fiancé… um… made out with her ass, causing a scandal back in China because her commie government frowns on this kind of thing, but also because, even though Asian girls are all complete perverts, they’re usually more reserved in public.

I should say, “most Asian girls are complete perverts”. A recent poll found that 100 percent of the Asian girls I currently live with refuse to lay out topless, even though their tits are awesome, and that I’m not allowed to rub their ass on the beach, even though that sounds like fun.

A follow up survey showed they’re against hardcore pornography and chose “you’re living in a fantasy world” when asked about the possibility of a three-way with another hot Asian girl. I really starting to think that I picked a dud.