afternoon headlines

By brendon March 26, 2009 @ 9:06 AM

ASHLEE SIMPSON – Page Six says, “Party animals-turned-parents Ashlee and Pete are having trouble … ‘(they’re) on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she's stuck at home’ ”. The story is way better if you just read, “Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks … stuck … in trouble … animals”.  (source = page six)

MADONNA – an official in Malawi says Madonna has filed adoption papers and will travel there this weekend for a procedural hearing.  She says, “I am the template or the role model for future adoptions.”  She’s definitely my adoption role model.  Her secret is to apply to the proper agencies then fill out the paperwork.  The old way was not only inefficient, it was dangerous, hundreds of kids died. (source = BBC)

LINDSAY LOHAN – the only movie she's finished in two years, “Labor Pains”, is skipping theatres and will premiere on ABC Family.  Which isn’t related to Marisa Miller on a motorbike in any way, but I already loaded these and didn’t feel like doing other ones. ta-da!  (source = us magazine)

(117) Comments

  1. avatar
    FatOldElvis 03/26/2009 10:28

    Ashlee Simpson, Madonna, Lindsay Lohan and Marissa Miller. One of these things is not like the other:

    I wouldn’t do the “Alabama Hot Pocket” with Marissa Miller… OK, yeah I would. (Dirty minx)

  2. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/26/2009 10:28

    I’d let Marissa Miller shit on my face.

  3. avatar
    Big Smelly Dirt Cock 03/26/2009 10:28

    What’s the point of being clothed in Playboy?

    It’s like ordering a cheeseburger and finding a salad in the bag.

    btw, that’s a good F marry kill list.

  4. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/26/2009 10:29

    jonnoh, from the previous post I believe you were trying to tell me to go fuck myself. Any reason for the hostility, or are you just angry cause you can’t find your food stamps?

  5. avatar
    CodPiece 03/26/2009 10:30

    I think she just wants to see you procreate with yourself DB. Some people get off on that.

  6. avatar
    arm123 03/26/2009 10:31

    Playboy. You’re doing it wrong. They night as well call themselves Maxim after this.

  7. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/26/2009 10:31

    Either way, Cod, I bet her anus feels like a freshly made hole in a microwaved melon.

  8. avatar
    Zombie 03/26/2009 10:31

    Oh come on. I got free posters and stuff from Harley Davidson with these SAME EXACT pictures on them when my friend bought his V-Rod LAST YEAR.

  9. avatar
    Watt(Power) 03/26/2009 10:31

    This writer is beginning to learn to combine stupid stories and unfunny jokes with hot pieces of ass

    Spoonful of sugar…

  10. avatar
    arm123 03/26/2009 10:32

    * “might”

  11. avatar
    Cali27 03/26/2009 10:32

    the trailer for Lindsay’s movie actually looked funny. but i can’t imagine any studio spending the money to put it in theaters. ll is box office poison. poor thing. call me girl, i’ll make it all better :).

  12. avatar
    Zombie 03/26/2009 10:32

    “jonnoh, from the previous post I believe you were trying to tell me to go fuck myself.”

    DB, I don’t know why exactly, but I cracked the fuck up when I read that part.

  13. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/26/2009 10:35

    Does anyone else still feel the sting of disappointment from Christie Brinkley’s Playboy pictorial in the 80′s?

  14. avatar
    Fussy Bitch 03/26/2009 10:36

    Labor Pains

    I would rather give birth to OHM as an adult then watch this shit bag of a movie. And OHM is a big boy!

  15. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 03/26/2009 10:37

    what is it with bitches and motorcycles?

    do bikers feel the need to validate their sexual preference at every chance they get?

    i was recording field audio for a confederate motorcycles spot the other day and when i walked in the bathroom, the walls were covered with naked chicks posing on bikes. i didn’t know whether to piss or jack off. so i did both.

  16. avatar
    Paleomiz 03/26/2009 10:37

    Isn’t Harley Davidson about to go bankrupt? Trotting out 80s looking sluts ain’t gonna fix that

  17. avatar
    jonnoh64 03/26/2009 10:38

    DB: to reprise a theme from previous post – don’t take me too seriously. And as for the foodstamps, I’m pretty sure I left them on your mother’s bedside table.

  18. avatar
    SupBv2 03/26/2009 10:38

    So, I just made bruchetta for my office, and everyone now loves me

    I feellll sooooo special!

  19. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/26/2009 10:38

    That’s cool, Fussy. I always pictured my relationship to your vagina as a entrance only kind of deal.

  20. avatar
    SupBv2 03/26/2009 10:39

    So, what the fuck are we talking about now?

    Quick someone bring me up to speed so I don’t have to go back and read 3 pages of posts…

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