Megan Fox worked some awesomely short shorts yesterday in West Hollywood, and it made me very happy, but also concerned. I worry that my penis isn’t good enough to be inside someone this glorious. I feel like I should have it dipped in gold or something first. I’ve already started to fill a syringe with grenadine once a week and then I stab it in my balls so that if we ever have sex I’ll taste like cherries. Just in case.
(image source = fame)