hahaha, you suck ashlee

By brendon April 08, 2009 @ 2:05 PM

Yesterday Ashlee Simpson was beaming with pride as she posted a new picture with her baby on Twitter.  Ashlees husband Pete Wentz wasn’t in the picture with them, because the night before his band had a concert at the Palms in Vegas and then he got drunk with dozens of strippers.

"Everybody was going absolutely crazy," an eyewitness tells Star. "People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip 'n' Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band's own songs, grinding up against the dancers."

Ashlee was actually at that same Palms show to see Pete, but drove home to LA when it was over to be with the baby.   On her Twitter, she wrote…

"I am beyond sad to leave my love … My heart is breaking as we drive home."

I like to think I would have done the honorable thing and gone home with Ashlee Simpson and the baby instead of getting jacked off by strippers.  I also like to think I’ll be a rocket ship captain one day.  Weeee, pretending is fun!


(154) Comments

  1. FatOldElvis 04/08/2009 14:36

    Mmmm-mmm, I love strippers. I love hookers more.
    But I love cheap ass easy sluts the most.

    (And I’m starting to find love for the chick in the Snorgtees banner ad too ::licks computer screen:: RAWR baby RAWR)

  2. AngusC 04/08/2009 14:36

    What a great husband and father.
    This is what happens when you marry an emo fag that wears women’s pants.

  3. Fake FatOldElvis 04/08/2009 14:37


  4. Fake FatOldElvis 04/08/2009 14:38

    AngusC describes FOE. Fist

  5. Cloak 04/08/2009 14:38

    That brunette has a great ass.

  6. pepper 04/08/2009 14:39

    I would like to ask again. Does Fake FatOldElvis and BDSC just wait for a new post ?
    All I picture this two turds pressing…refresh….refresh…refresh……

  7. FatOldElvis 04/08/2009 14:39

    Fake FOE if I ever get my fucking hands on you I’m going to STAPLE A FLAG TO YOUR ASS AND MAIL YOUR WORTHLESS CARCASS TO IRAN!

  8. Death to Finkle! 04/08/2009 14:39

    Wow. “Emo” and “fag” in the same sentence.

    Something for Shauna and SLA.

  9. SinDs 04/08/2009 14:40

    holy shit, shauna the dead shows up and we get an emo post…it’s fate!!

  10. pepper 04/08/2009 14:40

    And who actually believes that Fake Elvis is not OldElvis. Jesus, get a life!

  11. SinDs 04/08/2009 14:41

    and damnit, finks. you got me on that one!

  12. BurnPianoBurn 04/08/2009 14:42

    well at least we know he’s not gay now…it might still be a cover up. I guess they didn’t invite the other band members because they are fat and too emo for strippers. Ashlee probably had to go home and iron his girl pants, or her pants that he borrows.

  13. biggielaing 04/08/2009 14:43

    Singing their own songs, huh…..DOUCHE BAGS!!

  14. Fake FatOldElvis 04/08/2009 14:43

    I have the same drinking bird BSDC uses to refresh for new stories.

  15. Death to Finkle! 04/08/2009 14:44

    Fist fist fist fist…

  16. Sensei John Kreese 04/08/2009 14:44

    Think the strippers left when they figured out that it was only this douche?

  17. SuperB 04/08/2009 14:44

    My god I have the worst case of spring fever ever!! I just skipped out on work to go to the batting cage….ugh

  18. Death to Finkle! 04/08/2009 14:46

    Sup, you think Shauna waxes?

    Cunt probably has dreads. Or a big blue ‘fro.

    :: shiver ::

  19. Paparazzi Sniper 04/08/2009 14:46

    Why order a stripper with no boobs?

    “Uh …yeah can i get Hot Dog” “minus the dog please”

  20. Barb Dwyer 04/08/2009 14:48

    You know the next 3 photos have the Emo douche in the strippers outfit in the left shot.

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