Mario Lopez is a real stud

By brendon May 19, 2009 @ 12:26 PM


Mario Lopez looked like a complete fairy when he threw out the first pitch at last nights Dodgers game, but it wasn’t his fault because they had him stand so far away. The pitchers mound is roughly 60 feet away, and Mario was about 10 feet in front of that. In Little League the mound is 49 feet away, so Mario was even further than those professionally trained 8-year-olds. He should get even closer to home plate. And when he’s about to throw it someone in an all green outfit could take the ball from his hands and run it over and put it in the catchers glove. Maybe even move the ball in some crazy pattern so it looks like Mario has this unhittable corkscrew pitch. What an athlete!

(70) Comments

  1. avatar
    DumbBlondeArkie 05/19/2009 12:28


  2. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/19/2009 12:29

    I was always more of a Screech fan.

  3. avatar
    DumbBlondeArkie 05/19/2009 12:30

    Why exactly does new poster dude say he looks like a fairy? Did he not get the ball to the plate? I don’t understand.
    And, why are ARod, Jessica Biel and Kate Hudson tagged on this post?

  4. avatar
    SCUM 05/19/2009 12:32

    He has Lamar’s limp-wristed throwing style down pat.

  5. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/19/2009 12:35

    DBA, see SCUM’s comment @ 12:32, which pretty much nailed it.

  6. avatar
    DumbBlondeArkie 05/19/2009 12:35

    Ah, shit. Who’s Lamar?

  7. avatar
    BatShitCrazy 05/19/2009 12:36

    Even Stephen Hawking could have hit that pitch.

  8. avatar
    Halebopp 05/19/2009 12:36

    Goddamn AC Slater has gone to pot

  9. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/19/2009 12:36

    “Latrell Lamar?”

    “Lamar Latrell.”

  10. avatar
    pepper 05/19/2009 12:37

    Gay, Gayer, Gayest!

  11. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/19/2009 12:39

    Who are Zombie, Topher, and pepper, Alex?

  12. avatar
    pepper 05/19/2009 12:39

    People in LA don’t know how to spell Fudgers..Fudgepackers….Dodgers

  13. avatar
    SCUM 05/19/2009 12:39

    Lamar from Revenge Of The Nerds. Look it up.

  14. avatar
    SinDs 05/19/2009 12:40

    who cares, he isn’t an athlete, he obviously wasn’t made for baseball. he was made to look pretty and that’s it.

  15. avatar
    DumbBlondeArkie 05/19/2009 12:41

    Halebopp, your avi makes me sad. One of my favorite Arkies is a total fuckup.

  16. avatar
    pepper 05/19/2009 12:41


  17. avatar
    DumbBlondeArkie 05/19/2009 12:42

    Yeah, I looked it up, but it still isn’t funny.
    SinD, I totally agree. He might be a flaming homo, but he’s still pretty.

  18. avatar
    SCUM 05/19/2009 12:44

    DBA, maybe Petticoat Junction is more your style.

  19. avatar
    Texas Stunt Sock 05/19/2009 12:44

    Ooh, ooh, ooh. Where the hell is Sensei?

    A more important question would be why the hell would he let that limp-wristed fudgepacker join the Cobra Kai?

    It’s true. Look it up. No wonder Daniel kicked their collective ass.

  20. avatar
    The Fried Man 05/19/2009 12:46

    There are such bigger tools to pick on. The guy has a better delivery then the entire Dodgers starting rotation in my opinion.

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