“90210” star Jessica Lowndes was the only one who mattered at the 51st Hollywood Stars celebrity softball game at Dodger Stadium this weekend. And when they say “Hollywood Stars”, they mean that in the loosest possible sense. Josh Henderson. Robert Hoffman. James Denton. It seems pretty clear these rosters were chosen by picking random names out of a hat.
The biggest “stars” on hand were Joel Madden, Rob Lowe and Larry King. Whats that? Yes, yes that’s correct. Larry King. He even went to the plate and somehow his ancient brittle bones didn’t explode into dust when he swung the bat.
Him being there made it look like a reunion game from back before black people were allowed to play. If he had a rookie card it would just been a drawing because pictures were still considered a sign of the dark arts, and he’d have mutton chop sideburns and one of those big mustaches that curl up at the end. And it would have been for some insane sounding team that you’ve never fucking heard of. The Boston Dandies, or the Rochester Rowderfoots, or some shit like that.
So at least Jessica didn’t look as bad as Larry. She still looked like a spaz though. I understand if she hasn’t played much softball, because hot girls don’t have time for that crap, but she is from earth right? I thought catching a ball was just something people could do. Like sitting upright or chewing.