Mr. and Mrs. Jackass

By brendon August 03, 2009 @ 3:23 AM

32972PCN_Wahlberg

People magazine says that “Mark Wahlberg has finally made it official”, and then they add “!”. But even if they hadn’t I would have been excited.  He’s such a cool guy.  The real Vinnie Chase.  And now he’s married to this beautiful lady.  I hope I don’t cry.

Wahlberg and his longtime girlfriend, model Rhea Durham, tied the knot on Saturday.
The couple, who have three children – Ella Rae, 5, Michael, 3, and 10-month-old Brendan Joseph – were married Saturday in an intimate and romantic ceremony attended by their children and about 12 close friends and family at Good Shepherd Catholic Church in Beverly Hills.

Hm.  She had three kids and wasn’t married?  What a whore.  Although I better watch what I say.  Mark Wahlberg is a real tough guy.  He’s only 36 inches tall, but he’s all street and shit.  150 pounds of fury.  I’ve had my clock cleaned by someone his size before, and it was no picnic.  I can’t remember how old I was exactly, but I know that I had to wait for the crossing guard to go to the fight, and when it was over I went home and crawled up in a little fort I made behind the couch with pillows and a blanket.  Then my mom made popcorn balls to cheer me up.

(hq jump = here.  image source = pacific coast news)

wwtdd

(9) Comments

  1. avatar
    Vincent 08/03/2009 03:58

    first

  2. avatar
    The Scumbag 08/03/2009 04:33

    Mark Walberg was fantastic in Battlestar Galactica.

  3. avatar
    carolinediaz@hotmail.com 08/03/2009 04:45

    So he married her finally,so she can shut the fuck up.

  4. avatar
    carolinediaz@hotmail.com 08/03/2009 04:50

    The chinese guy holding the flower looks cute.Mark does not look happy in any of the pictures.

  5. avatar
    carolinediaz@hotmail.com 08/03/2009 04:56

    What happened to the midget who owns the jacket?.Wait… that is Mark Wahlberg’s jacket.

  6. avatar
    BALLSY 08/03/2009 07:37

    say hi to your mom for me!

  7. avatar
    Rokan 08/03/2009 08:48

    What?

  8. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 08/03/2009 09:37

    Marky Mark and the Donkey Punch!

  9. avatar
    eattrn 08/03/2009 09:46

    So do the kids have to share rooms with all his friends and brother?

You must be to post a comment.