Chris Brown is furious today over rumors that he can’t remember the night when he beat the shit out of Rihanna (you better watch your back, rumors. Chris Brown will choke a bitch). He issued a statement to People magazine last night, and this Chris Brown wants to make it clear that he does remember hitting Rihanna, and that the Chris Brown who was on Larry King was lying when he said he didn’t.
“There have been reports on the Internet that I didn’t remember what happened that night with Rihanna. I want to try and set things straight.”
“That 30 seconds of the interview they used of me was taken from a one hour interview during which that same question was asked something like four or five times – and when you look at the entire interview you will see it is not representative of what I said.
“The first four times – or however many times it was – I gave the same answer – which was that I didn’t think it was appropriate for me to talk about what happened that night. I said it was not right for me and it really wasn’t fair to Rihanna. The fifth time – or whatever it was – I just misspoke. I was asked, ‘Do you remember doing it?’ and I said, ‘No.’
There’s little doubt that this kind of interview can be nerve-wracking, so maybe he really did just fumble over his words and say “no” because he didn’t want to go into details. I guess that’s possible. It’s also possible that I nail Megan Fox in the ass before noon today, but the odds of that are 50 percent, at best. Maybe 60, but only because I look especially hot today. In summation, I’m very attractive and this motherfuckers lying. The End.