its the perfect crime

By brendon September 21, 2009 @ 4:53 PM


In May of 2008 (here), several recordings were released of phone conversations between Hulk Hogan and his son Nick while Nick sat in jail for essentially killing his friend John Grazziano. On the tape, Hulk and Nick agree that Johns negative attitude was why the Lord slammed Johns head into a light pole, and Nick was merely the vessel for their vengeful Gods angry wrath. They also discussed how Nick could make the most money possible from all this.

Needless to say Hulk learned nothing about how recorded phone calls work, so a few weeks ago he called Chase Holfelder, the lead singer of the band The Mile After. As you can hear, Hulk waits for the beep, then threatens to have Hells Angels break Holfelders legs.

To his credit, Hogan didn’t leave his name and address, but any chance of anonymity went to hell when he explained what type of Mania was bein’ messed with (Hulk-A), and then calling him “brother”.  Hogan should be a spy or something.  He’s a chameleon, the man of 1000 Faces.

(152) Comments

  1. avatar
    Jean-Claude Van Douche 09/21/2009 16:59

    That picture always freaks me…that family is fucked.

    They should die…also…this is not tits.

  2. avatar
    whatizdat 09/21/2009 16:59

    what a tool, can’t die fast enough from rogaine poisioning

  3. avatar
    whatizdat 09/21/2009 17:00

    ditto JCVD

  4. avatar
    Watt 09/21/2009 17:00

    I thought that shit was for the ring only


  5. avatar
    Jean-Claude Van Douche 09/21/2009 17:03

    Hulk-A-Mania is very real and very much related to the “Hulk’s” clear lack of testicles throughout his entire tight pants wearing career as a “Professional” ass pirate….I mean wrestler…

  6. avatar
    whatizdat 09/21/2009 17:04

    Imma give Nick da fone back in a minute, but Brooke is the kid with the most going on!

  7. avatar
    Jean-Claude Van Douche 09/21/2009 17:06

    Also, people who use the term “Baby Bump” and believe that such a thing can be “rocked” should be stabbed in the abdomen 3,732 times.

    I am so tired of these fucking “stars” ruining their bodies by getting pregnant.

  8. avatar
    Headly 09/21/2009 17:06

    Agreed, JCVD. What the hell does this have to do with tits?

  9. avatar
    CodPiece 09/21/2009 17:06

    Who has the bigger penis? Hulk or Brooke?

  10. avatar
    DB's Treasure 09/21/2009 17:07

    I just wanna tongue Brooke Hogan’s plumbing.

  11. avatar
    dirtydiane 09/21/2009 17:10

    i still can’t believe that fetal alcohol syndrome hogan baby gave his buddy a candy dish for a forehead and they didn’t chop off his feet and hands so he could never drive again. there is no justice.

  12. avatar
    Headly 09/21/2009 17:10

    DB, if you get in there, look around for my wristwatch…

  13. avatar
    Woodsman 09/21/2009 17:12

    Who has the bigger penis? Hulk or Brooke?
    That’s a trick question. Answer? Brooke HAS the bigger penis, but Hulk IS a monstrously huge dick

  14. avatar
    Woodsman 09/21/2009 17:13

    Who has the bigger penis? Hulk or Brooke?
    That’s a trick question. Answer? Brooke *HAS* the bigger penis, but Hulk *IS* more of a giant dick

  15. avatar
    pepper 09/21/2009 17:13

    why does the Hulk neede to hire the Hells Angels?

  16. avatar
    Woodsman 09/21/2009 17:16

    which post do you like best? (I’ll go set a spell on the idiot chair)

  17. avatar
    Headly 09/21/2009 17:18

    I kinda like the first one, Woodsman. I thought the “monstrously huge dick” part was funnier!

  18. avatar
    Prom Night Dumpster Baby 09/21/2009 17:21

    DD – “candy dish for a forehead”



    Also, I heard Brooke’s labia set a record in the clean and jerk @ last month’s power lifting championships.

  19. avatar
    Woodsman 09/21/2009 17:21

    ok, thanks Headly, well then I’ll re-send that comment a few more times (this idiot hat makes my head itch)

  20. avatar
    Headly 09/21/2009 17:22

    Is anyone else here so hungover they can barely type? I’m looking at you, Deebs…

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