julia roberts really sucks

By brendon September 23, 2009 @ 4:54 PM


Julia Roberts is in India filming something I’ll never see called ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, and when not pissing off locals by shutting down their Hindu temple so the movie can use it as a prop (here), she’s pissing off visitors by booking every single room in the famous Pataudi Palace hotel (here). But it’s not because she’s some uppity bitch who doesn’t want Indian people to get anywhere near her. Oh wait never mind. It’s totally that.

Around 350 security staff, including police, more than 100 bouncers and nearly 40 gunmen are guarding the star.
Bulletproof cars are used to take the star to and from the set and helicopters patrol the skies overhead.

Jesus Julia, don’t flatter yourself. You act like some elite team of assassins is after you. No one cares about you any more. At best, I’ve thought about Julia Roberts 10 times in the last 5 years. And it’s only that many because I’m the father of two of her kids.

(52) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 09/23/2009 17:00

    If I attached a spigot to her vulva, would milk come out?

  2. avatar
    whatizdat 09/23/2009 17:01

    making friends wherever she goes . . .

  3. avatar
    Sensei John Kreese 09/23/2009 17:05

    Who cares about Julia Roberts.

    THis is more impressive.


  4. avatar
    whatizdat 09/23/2009 17:06

    should I trust you sensei?

  5. avatar
    whatizdat 09/23/2009 17:07

    she looks great getting fashion advice from the Olsen twins

  6. avatar
    whatizdat 09/23/2009 17:08

    strangely bizzare

    sensei now I want to see this used

  7. avatar
    Sensei John Kreese 09/23/2009 17:09


    That thing has 1000 uses.

  8. avatar
    Tito's Anal Adventures 09/23/2009 17:09

    Writer-dude, you’ve got it all wrong. She’s employing as many people as possible. Without her a bunch of Indian nitwits would starve to death. She is a fucking saint!

  9. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/23/2009 17:10

    That’s it, huh? Julia Roberts in a raincoat and hat is worried about getting some Indian cooties.

    What else ya got, Bren?

  10. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 09/23/2009 17:10

    Looks like the only tits I missed today was some dude Charlie who has moobs. Does that about sum it up?

  11. avatar
    whatizdat 09/23/2009 17:10

    all of them good no doubt

  12. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 09/23/2009 17:12

    Did Martha Stewart get collegen injections?

  13. avatar
    whatizdat 09/23/2009 17:12

    on the money rusty

    spent the day commenting on a dead perv banging his kid (hopefully no lube)

  14. avatar
    Mony Vibescu 09/23/2009 17:13

    Tito… how’s the abdomen?

  15. avatar
    Headly 09/23/2009 17:13

    That’s funny. I thought the flying monkeys and the palace guard would’ve been enough to keep her covered…

  16. avatar
    Tito's Anal Adventures 09/23/2009 17:14

    MIA, Mony, Anal is the new Abdomen.
    How is Queen and Country?

  17. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 09/23/2009 17:16

    Yeah, I skimmed past the McKenzie Phillips thing. Creeps me the fuck out…and the part about her dad banging her, that creeped me out too.

  18. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/23/2009 17:17

    Well done, Rusty.

  19. avatar
    Tito's Anal Adventures 09/23/2009 17:17

    Julia Roberts won’t take it up the ass!
    Who’s betting against me?

  20. avatar
    Sensei John Kreese 09/23/2009 17:18

    Back to the McKenzie thing, there’s a fine line between arousing and creepy and I feel confident in saying that I’ve walked that line, so I’m not one to accurately judge.

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