The good news for Tiger Woods is that the Florida Highway Patrol is ending the investigation they never really began after Woods' car crash. The bad news is absolutely everything else.
Us Weekly now says it has confirmed the Enquirer report that Woods had an affair with Rachel Uchitel. On top of that the Enquirer produced, "an on-the-record interview with a friend and multiple sources who passed polygraphs." To make bad even worse, Us has released a few of the text messages allegedly sent from Woods to a woman named Jamie Grubbs.
"I will wear you out...when was the last time you got (bleeped)?" one message read. Another one from Tiger read, "Send me something very naughty…Go to the bathroom and take (a picture)." Now Grubbs is claiming that during her affair with Woods his wife became suspicious. According to Grubbs, Woods said, "My wife went through my phone and may be calling you."
And here's a text to Woods from his wife Elin Nordegren, sent about two minutes from now...
"Im'a get two hardcore pipe-hitting niggaz down here, and let them go at ya with a hammer and a blowtorch."
Radar Online says Grubbs and Uchitel are not the only two women that Woods had affairs with, and several others are in negotiations with various media outlets. Nordegren hasn't made any public statement yet, either personally or through an attorney. She did meet with a divorce attorney, but the lawyer couldn't remember anything she said because while Elin was talking the lawyers eyes rolled around in his head like a slot machine and landed on dollar signs, and when he looked at Elin she turned into a big bag of money.
MORE GOOD NEWS UPDATE - now it's being reported that Grubbs was telling castmates on her VH1 show about the affair over a year ago.