Lots of people are bummed out today because of all the Haiti 7.0 earthquake stuff, but look how cool that dog is. He’s swimmin around the ocean and playing tug of war with Brazilian model Nicole Bahls. That dog kicks ass and he did a lot to cheer me up. Of course I wasn’t all that sad to begin with because Haiti has sucked for 300 years and I’m tired of waiting for all these crappy countries to get their act together. Tokyo had an 8.3 a hundred years ago and it wasn’t even remotely this bad. And they had twice as many people, AND a huge fire, AND landslides AND a tsunami. And let’s not forget Godzilla stomping the shit out of everything twice a week. Even when he saved Tokyo he still smashed like 98 percent of it.