john mayer really is an asshole

By brendon February 10, 2010 @ 4:15 PM


The vast majority of John Mayers Playboy interview (now online at is made up of the reporter occasionally interrupting while Mayer composes a love letter to himself. The Jessica Simpson stuff has already been covered, but Mayer goes on to explain why he’s great in many many other ways, including why black people love him so very, very much.

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

Stuff like this is why everyone hates white people. John Mayer does not have a hood pass. He has a pass to hang out with other rich people, who occasionally are black. White people like this treat the hood like a unicorn. It’s something they’ve heard about but never seen. But Unicorns have horns, which nature only puts there to be a weapon, and they’d probably stab you in the fucking heart with it. I’m not entirely sure what that has to do with black guys in the hood but I’m pretty sure it’s something.


(62) Comments

  1. cord 02/10/2010 16:18


  2. SuperB 02/10/2010 16:18

    And today’s huge Douchebag award goes to…..

  3. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 02/10/2010 16:19

    He’s the kind of person you wouldn’t mind setting on fire if you could get away with it.

  4. pepper 02/10/2010 16:19

    John Mayer is sort of an asshole

    John Mayer is Blowback?

  5. BigBadDouche 02/10/2010 16:20

    I would stick a fork in his tit.

  6. Gildorg 02/10/2010 16:23

    He still banged Jessica when she was hot.

  7. BigBadDouche 02/10/2010 16:23

    Blowback is my new BFF. Leave him alone.

    He promised me a 3-way with my orderly and me.

  8. cord 02/10/2010 16:25

    actually thats awesome … i take it back JM … Nog Pass – Like I-Pass with AIDS

    is the N-word blocked from Tyler? .. He said it.

  9. Dr. Gonzo 02/10/2010 16:26

    Yeah. He’s an asshole.

  10. Sensei John Kreese 02/10/2010 16:26


  11. SCUM 02/10/2010 16:27


  12. yourmomsucks 02/10/2010 16:27

    this guy is a complete tool.

  13. pepper 02/10/2010 16:28

    n i g g e r

  14. DarkCherry 02/10/2010 16:31

    …i don’t think i could fuck a man who’d wear shorts like that.

  15. RedRage 02/10/2010 16:32

    Those shorts are making BBD’s mouth water!

  16. SCUM 02/10/2010 16:35

    Judging by the banner pic the Village people are getting back together.

  17. pepper 02/10/2010 16:38

    DC, so, if Lady CaCa was wearing those shorts, you would not go down on her?

  18. pepper 02/10/2010 16:39

    SCUM, which Village People are you?
    The black guy in leather?

  19. DarkCherry 02/10/2010 16:40

    pep – i said a man.

  20. pepper 02/10/2010 16:41

    DC, so did I!!!!

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