the live tiger woods press conference (update!)

Ooohhh, just a few more minutes! I wonder what he’ll say? I bet it’s surprising!

UPDATE – This is the most important story in the world, so I assume everyone saw that he’s going back to sex rehab after this. That guy in Austin picked a bad day to crash a plane into the IRS. Who gives a shit if the government takes half our money. TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS TIGER WOODS!!!

UPDATE – His coat is weird. It looks like he’s wearing a cape.

UPDATE – “As Elin pointed out to me…” Does she remind you when you haven’t taken your estrogen too. Fag.

UPDATE – Jesus Christ dude, get over yourself. He acts like we sent him to reignite the sun and he screwed it up. The whole world isn’t disappointed and let down.

UPDATE – ooo, the President Woods angle is so stately.

UPDATE – “Boooo, you suck! You’re not funny! Get off the stage!”

UPDATE – The 3 girls in the front row must be flattered to know that they were chosen because they’re frumpy and unthreatening. It would have been funnier to have a bunch of hot blonds and a fug chick in a Perkins waitress outfit.

UPDATE – I think Tiger thinks he’s Batman.