bar refaeli is historically important

By brendon March 08, 2010 @ 3:39 PM

wenn5440787

These pictures of Bar Refaeli at last nights Vanity Fair party got me wondering where Jewish people rank her on lists of great Jews throughout history. Jews love organizing things, so I knew they would have plenty of lists like that, and I was right. But then things quickly took a perplexing turn. It seems crazy, but none of the lists I found even had her in the top 5? Oh I know, right? What the hell is that all about?

Moses, Abraham, David and Jesus were in most of the top 5 lists because of their miracles and religious leadership, but if all 4 of them were doing pretty much the same thing, how hard could it have really been? Meanwhile there’s only one Bar. So those 4 are out.

That leaves only Einstein, whose Theory of Relativity showed how a large amount of energy could be released from a small amount of matter. This would eventually lead to the atomic bombs that killed 250,000 Japanese in WWII. Unlike Einstein’s insatiable thirst for blood and hunger to kill, Bar sends only a message of love and peace.

So do these new findings mean that Bar Refaeli is the greatest Jew of all time? According to the data, yes. Yes she is.

wwtdd

(37) Comments

  1. avatar
    DarkCherry 03/08/2010 15:39

    but where is Leo????

  2. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/08/2010 15:40

    She definitely is historically important. I’ve grown a monument in her honor.

  3. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 03/08/2010 15:45

    nice. 15 pics of some whore who makes millions for just being alive, and not a shred of nudity.

  4. avatar
    Jessica 03/08/2010 15:45

    Someone told me SeekingAffluent.com. It’s the place where you can meet millionaires, who are searching for their special someone.

  5. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/08/2010 15:47

    ^ I really want you dead

  6. avatar
    Just the Tip 03/08/2010 15:47

    Vanity Fair to Jews to the Theory of Relativity..?..

    …uhhh…

  7. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 03/08/2010 15:48

    someone told me that marketing is hawking ad space in the comment section. are they looking for their special someone….god i hate you.

  8. avatar
    Just the Tip 03/08/2010 15:49

    My Special Someone is in a laundry basket…

    DAMN YOU DDM!

  9. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 03/08/2010 15:50

    wait, what happened to the kanye post?

    fuck did i just type that?

  10. avatar
    Observer 03/08/2010 15:52

    If Rokan de-worms her…….I’ll de-Jew her…..

    DDM……that post is better off dead…

  11. avatar
    Naddz Dangle 03/08/2010 15:53

    Her face needs a coating of man glaze.

  12. avatar
    Just the Tip 03/08/2010 15:53

    John Cusack – good movie…

    TWO DOLLARS! I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!

  13. avatar
    Observer 03/08/2010 16:00

    Back “in the day”…..Jewish girls were less circumspect about public nudity…….

    http://tinyurl.com/yj48f9b

  14. avatar
    Admiral 03/08/2010 16:02

    Dang, she’s gotta stop spending so much time in the sun, her skin makes her look like she’s 40. A really, really good 40, though.

  15. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/08/2010 16:06

    Damn, that….that was evil, Obs.

  16. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/08/2010 16:08

    I would rank her at #2. Just under Albert Einstein.

    Albert Einstein is what I call my penis.

  17. avatar
    Observer 03/08/2010 16:08

    Deebs…..

    ….even I debated the possibility of posting that one……

  18. avatar
    Watt 03/08/2010 16:09

    god damn that’s one kosher piece of ass. I’ll bet her pussy tastes like milk and honey.

    Her. Me. Charisma. I’ll die a happy man.

  19. avatar
    Rusty Sanchez 03/08/2010 16:10

    Why Ohm, because its old and wrinkly?

  20. avatar
    DB's Treasure 03/08/2010 16:12

    ZIIIIIING!

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