thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 04, 2010 @ 7:08 PM


NICOLE KIDMAN - has been replaced in a movie by … Selena Gomez. For the record, Kidman is 42, Gomez is 17. I bet Keith Urban wishes he could do this. (variety)

LOST - has run out of time, according to the writers and producers, and there is simply no way to wrap up all loose ends and answer all the questions by the end of the series in May. When asked for a comment, one group of hardcore fans yelled unintelligible profanity for almost an hour. (washington post)

JESSICA BIEL AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - are still very much together apparently, because today they’re skiing in Switzerland. And after zzzzzzz snooorrrre zzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzz, snoooorre, zzzzzzz. (just jared)

KATHERINE JENKINS - is a 29-year-old UK opera star who yesterday began a tour with concerts more like Britney or Madonna. Some people only like her because she has a beautiful singing voice, but those people are superficial jerks. She was born with that. What about the real Katherine. What about going a little deeper. Like her big jugs, for example. And her money. And let’s not forget her big jugs. (daily mail)

(72) Comments

  1. avatar
    Jessica 03/04/2010 19:10

    If you are looking for a partner based on lifestyle and physical chemistry as well as personal beliefs and common interests, you may try ** ––** Good Luck:)

  2. avatar
    iwontrememberthis 03/04/2010 19:14

    I suspected that would happen on Lost. Thus, it’s officially a poorly written show that was a just series of random tangents. Winner: me, for not watching.

  3. avatar
    iwontrememberthis 03/04/2010 19:15

    Jessica, if you added “Fist” to your bot-post, it would be slightly amusing.

  4. avatar
    Watt 03/04/2010 19:23

    Now there’s a pair of assets I can get behind. I’d like to invest heavily in that portfolio.

    Sorry just got done tweaking my 401-k

  5. avatar
    oy 03/04/2010 19:24

    real or bolt ons?!

  6. avatar
    Barbarella 03/04/2010 19:26

    She has nice bewbz.

  7. avatar
    oy 03/04/2010 19:29

    bolt ons but nonetheless awesome!

  8. avatar
    Okuma 03/04/2010 19:32

    Remember when Nicole Kidman who’s a natural redhead was hotter than Selena Gomez, whose father sells oranges, or something….oh yeah, that’s right she still is.

  9. avatar
    Woodsman 03/04/2010 20:28

    La Boobheme? La Tittyatta? Madam Booberfly?

  10. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/04/2010 20:31

    I thought that chick was Parker Posey.

  11. avatar
    Woodsman 03/04/2010 20:34

    Steff: pffff! classic chick mistake – checking the face *before* the rack

  12. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/04/2010 20:36

    I know. I’m a nerd. That and it’s a slow loading computer. And I’ve been up since 7. Thats an eternity.

  13. avatar
    Woodsman 03/04/2010 20:38

    YOU are a nerd? For chrissakes, I was making opera jokes.

  14. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/04/2010 20:39

    I missed them? Wow, when I actually work I sure miss a lot of bullshit. A greek man followed me and a friend for 4 blocks today. He told me he can spell the alphabet with his tongue.

  15. avatar
    Glenn F 03/04/2010 20:49

    She can bari-my-tone any day of the week.
    Not sure what that means, either.

  16. avatar
    Woodsman 03/04/2010 20:50

    Go up a few posts to Opera Joke Central @ 20:28

    As for your follower, tell him using a keyboard is a lot quicker … or was he possibly meaning something else?

  17. avatar
    Woodsman 03/04/2010 20:52

    I gotta go. I said I gotta go!

  18. avatar
    Steffabulous 03/04/2010 20:53

    We had to tell him we were lesbians to get him to go away, and then he said we were losers. I spent the rest of the day crying. Opera jokes is I think, too classy for this site. You outclassed us all. Applause.

  19. avatar
    lucylids23 03/04/2010 21:03

    She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”””””””” last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  20. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/04/2010 21:09

    Spelling the alphabet with your tongue is a novice cunnilingus technique. It’s what dudes do when they are unable to read signals and how a woman is responding to what they are doing. Amateur.

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