tuesday afternoon headlines

MICHAEL JACKSON – had at least 2 girlfriends whose identity have remained a secret, according to his bodyguards. Well that’s all the proof I need. I’m sure it wasn’t a boy in a wig and a dress. Why can’t the girls go public? Who knows. Maybe they’re mermaids. (wonderwall)

GABOUREY SIDIBE – has joined the cast of a new Showtime series called, “The Big C”. The goal of the show is to see how many “the fat vagina” jokes the internet can make. (imdb)

JIMMY KIMMEL – might replace Barbara Walters as host of the interview special before the Oscars every year. It’s part of ABCs new plan to make shows people watch and enjoy. (pop eater)

JESSICA SIMPSON – is glad she doesn’t look like Daisy Duke anymore. “So am I”, agreed No One On Earth. (us.com)

KATY PERRY – should have been posted yesterday but can’t be forgotten because her Oscar dress was terrific. Her hair was down and the dress actually flattered her body instead of hiding it under 1800 yards of fabric. It went against the normal award show trend of trying to look as terrible as possible. (getty and splash)